Selferotication

When a gay man is masturbauting and the only visual assistance he needs is the view of himself jerking off.

I'm excited for a night of selferotication.

by Jsummers33 January 03, 2017

Shit alert

The signal that your body sends you that lets you know to shit within the next 10 minutes or your gonna shit yourself.

I was in the middle of the football game when I got a shit alert

by Jsummers33 December 22, 2016

Head safety

When your girl makes you wear a condom while she is giving you a blow job.

My girl is really into head safety

by Jsummers33 December 20, 2016

Desperate bating

When you are so horny that you can jerk off to just about anything.

My parents walked in on me desperate bating to a lamp.

by Jsummers33 December 18, 2016

instagram facetime

When you live stream on Instagram and only one person is watching.

I was live streaming the other day and there was some Instagram facetime going on.

by Jsummers33 December 16, 2016

Procrastination dump

The act of stalling by sitting on the toilet for an upwards of two hours.

I didn't want to do my homework so I grabbed my iPad and took a procrastination dump

by Jsummers33 December 14, 2016

Self circumsition

When you masturbate without cutting your nails first and you cut your dick.

I jerked off last night and didn't cut my nails so I had a little self circumsition

by Jsummers33 December 20, 2016