A communication protocol sometimes used to connect to internet servers from remote hosts.
Seldom used due to it's inability to display pornography.
Connecting to playboy.com
hughhefner % titties
titties: Command not found
A device with a keyboard that makes slapping sounds when you try to use it to connect to the internet.
Typical usage by a teenager:
Jesus - this fucking piece of shit typewriter doesn't have wireless.
An impliment for removing skid marks from the toilet bowl. Manufacturers tend to stick to the retarded notion that it should be white.
Bill: I used the toilet brush the other day because I know you hate a messy bowl.
Anne: I know. I had to use your toothbrush to get the dried shit off the white bristles.
The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.
While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.
Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.
When the skin at a womans arm pit folds to resemble a pussy. Arm pussy, often abreviated to "AP" is the ultimate form of voyuerism. Firstly, women don't hide this part of their body in public, but more importantly AP is a very close representation to a womans actual vagina in terms of lip tightness, and hairyness. AP is a public preview of private nudity.
Christ, check out the the arm pussy on that chick at the next table.
Not useful. Of little value.
Steve came over to help me build the deck, but he's about as useful as an arse full of roasted snow.
The somewhat disappointing realization that no matter how hard you push, you aren't going to penetrate your girlfriends asshole.
The problem can be solved with any number of lubricants, none of which are at hand the ONE FUCKING NIGHT that she is shit faced
enough to let you slip her a length of love rod
in the fudge tunnel
No mom, everything's fine at school, really. I'm just a bit down in the dumps because Marsha and I had a bad case of poophole nogo and now I'm wondering if I should just fuck a hooker in the ass to see what it's like.