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The burning, uncontrollable flow of ass water and acidic shit that exits your colon while burning your asshole (aka: ass piss). A mixture of this \"ass piss\" and bowl water may also backsplash onto your cheeks...this usually depends on the force of the colonic and consistency of the \"ass piss\".

The telltale sign of an impending colonic is a spur of the moment sensation that you are going to uncontrollably piss out of your ass into your pants.

You will know someone has these symptoms when you observe them making a mad dash for the bathroom, while trying to take down their pants.

WARNING: the side effects of a colonic are as follows (most severe first): Burning asshole (can last for 24 hours), wet ass cheeks (can make your boxers wet if you don’t wipe well), and shaky/weak legs (caused by the stress and pain of colonic).

Can also be called: explosive diarrhea
Dude, I had a colonic yesterday after I ate taco bell for lunch. My asshole is still on fire!
colonic by ksumarine April 26, 2005
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Eeeewwww dude that guy is going in for a colonic.
colonic by Kung-Fu Jesus April 21, 2004
Having the traits or behaviour of an arse or an arsehole.
John: Told ya you wouldn't get that promotion, Jim!
Paul: Dude, don't be so colonic. Jim really needed that promotion.
Colonic by PublicVoid June 25, 2018

Colonic Apocalypse

1. A shit so massive it leaves you wondering if you have just had an anal prolapse.

2. When one's defecation is of Biblical Proportions.
John: "Damn, Derek's 'Cayan Chili Macaroni and Cheese' concoction just gave me a Colonic Apocalypse..."

Mike: "Should I call 911?"
Colonic Apocalypse by Ender Castigan February 24, 2008

Colonic Jihad 

Diarrhea, which is so sudden, massive and explosive that it feels like your bowels have declared a holy war.
About 30 minutes after I ate at the Chinese Buffet I had an attack of the colonic jihad. I barely made it to the bathroom in time.
Colonic Jihad by Seyler-do August 12, 2011

Colonic death grip 

The masterful kung-fu act of suppressing a giant mud rock into a deep slumber using only a well-disciplined sphyncter.
Had a prawn and boiled egg vindaloo last night and its playing up with my guts, luckily I managed to summon a colonic death grip to avoid shitting myself in Asda.
Colonic death grip by Joe Smiff September 6, 2022

colonic irrigation

A procedure to cleanse the inside workings by jetting off streams of hot water up the anus of a patient, and then vacuuming out the shit. Also known as coffee.
Crocodile Dundee:"Mate, isn't a colonic where someone sticks a hosepipe up your arse?"
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