Jonzo the Weasel's definitions

rap

The whipping boy of the music world for obnoxious posers who wish they had something intelligent to say.

Poser- Oh God! Is that rap you're listening to? That shit is the w-
Me- Listen, fuckwad- You go lose your virginity, then maybe we'll talk.

by jonzo the weasel April 20, 2006

MTV VMA

Where bad music rules >95% of the evening, where red carpet shows offer celebrities the opportunity to show off some of the most ridiculous clothing ever to be worn, allows celebrities to make some of the most boring speeches you will ever hear, and where axl rose and new guns n' roses, to the horror of GNR fans everywhere, butchered Welcome to the Jungle, proving that sometimes, you really should quit while you're ahead.

Nick-Did you see Guns n' Roses at the MTV VMA?
Steve- Unfortunatley, yes.

by jonzo the weasel September 12, 2006

MTV

A tv chanel that everybody loves to hate for "being corporate." It should be noted that those people are in shitty ass bands that would sell their souls to get on MTV and get a recording contract from a label that people actually care about. Features some of the worlds hottest chicks if you exclude that skanky washup britney spears and christina aguilewhateverthefuck. Imortalized by the line "I Want My MTV."

Nerd- I hate mtv, die die die.
Me- Dumbass, you just are bitter because a)your shitty band sucks so hard recording execs are afraid to touch it and b)the gorgeous girls on it remind you how sad your fat pimply pale "girl"friend is and coz 50 cent reminds u that u are asexually shaped? And if you don't like pop or blink182-i don't either-change the chanel or turn off the tv. geez, what a fuckwad.

by Jonzo the Weasel April 4, 2006

celebricrat

A celebrtity who gets political. In some extreme cases (like the guy who is now governor of california) they will run for office and win. But if one just makes public political statements and/or supports a candidate, then that celebrity has become a celebricrat.
Naturaly, most celebricrats are on the political left (celiberals) because that is the less moralistic party, the strongest party in California, as opposed to the right-wing celebrities (constarvatives). The celiberals are often denounced by right-wing pundits as traitors. The constarvatives are usually just blown off by left-wingers as rich morons.

Here are some famous celebricrats
Celiberals:
Bruce Springsteen
Sean Penn
Jon Bon Jovi
Madonna
Billie Joe Armstrong
Kanye West
Whoopi Goldberg
Christopher Reeve
Scarlett Johanson
Sean John Combs
Chuck D
Ice Cube
The late Kurt Cobain
Barbara Streisand
Joey Ramone

And the Constarvatives:
Britney Spears
Johnny Ramone
Arnold Schwarzeneger
Jessie Ventura
Jessica Simpson
Kid Rock
Ronald Reagan
Lynn Swann
Ann Coulter

by jonzo the weasel July 28, 2006

swift boat veterans for truth

A group of fucking liars who dragged John Kerry's name through the dirt on two false accusations:

1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?

2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.

Swift Boat Veterans for Truth sent out it's slanderous ads without the authorization of Bush? Bullshit.

by Jonzo the Weasel August 15, 2006

Bon Jovi

New Jersey-based glam metal band. They aren't the most adventurous musicians, but hey, neither were AC/DC, and they still sound good. One of the few bands made up of nice guys to be still called metal. Their lineup is basically the same after 20 years, there have been no arrests, no pyrotechnics disasters (see Metallica and Great White), no stadium riots (see Guns n' Roses), no trips to rehab (see Ozzy Osbourne), no car crashes that killed other rock stars (see Motley Crue). Also, for some reason I can't understand, I can't imagine them being from anywhere but New Jersey. All in all, a solid band with a good career. Unquestioned masters of the power ballad.

Axl Rose was definitely the better frontman than Jon Bon Jovi, but there's no question about which one I'd rather get hang out with.

by jonzo the weasel September 12, 2006

Pretzel

A deadly threat to the nation. It was sent by unknown parties to assasinate George W. Bush. The attempt was nearly successful, but a bystander was cunning enough to employ the heimlich maneuvre, foiling the conspiracy. The said pretzel is now being held in maximum security in guantanamo bay as an enemy combatant.

It appears that agent pretzel has failed his mission.

by jonzo the weasel July 17, 2006