Jonzo the Weasel's definitions
A deadly threat to the nation. It was sent by unknown parties to assasinate George W. Bush. The attempt was nearly successful, but a bystander was cunning enough to employ the heimlich maneuvre, foiling the conspiracy. The said pretzel is now being held in maximum security in guantanamo bay as an enemy combatant.
by jonzo the weasel July 17, 2006
Get the Pretzel mug.A great frontman for legendary rock band Guns n' Roses. Thanks to his perfectionism and insufferable ego, he is the only member of the original band left in it. He also fucked the extremely hot Stephanie Seymour a bunch of times, though unfortunately for him his obnoxious personality messed that up too.
by Jonzo the Weasel June 11, 2006
Get the axl rose mug.The ultimate weapon when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. It can even be thrown like a tomohawk should your intended victim appear to be outrunning you. However, if there is a red taffic light nearby, simply smash the window of the first car, kill the guy inside it, drive up after the primary target, and while passing, swing the bat full-force at his head. A decapitation guaranteed
So you wanna be a hitman for fat Alfredo, skinny Lou? Awrighty, take out Stupid Gianni and Smelly Joe wit dis baseball bat
by Jonzo the Weasel January 22, 2006
Get the baseball bat mug.A group of fucking liars who dragged John Kerry's name through the dirt on two false accusations:
1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?
2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.
1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?
2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth sent out it's slanderous ads without the authorization of Bush? Bullshit.
by Jonzo the Weasel August 15, 2006
Get the swift boat veterans for truth mug.The head of the Westboro Baptist Church. An incredibly hateful man who runs godhatesfags.com and godhatesamerica.com. According to this incredible asshole, the GI's getting killed in Iraq are God's punishment for not persecuting homosexuals. His cult has picketted their funerals with signs like "God Hates Fags," "America Is Doomed," "Thank God for Dead Troops," "God Blew Up the Troops," "Fag Soldiers in Hell," and "Thank God for IEDs." He's a horrible example of Christianity and has a big surprise coming for him from God when he dies. He is linked to thechristian identity movement, a white-supremacist organization posing as a church.
Here are the people in Hell, according to Fred Phelps.
Matt Sheppard
Reggie White
Ronald Reagan
Martin Luther King
Corretta Scott King
Mr Rogers
All US casualties of the Iraq War
The victims of the West Virginia coal mine disaster
It should be noted that Freddie had met several times with and praised the leadership of our best buddy Saddam Hussein.
Matt Sheppard
Reggie White
Ronald Reagan
Martin Luther King
Corretta Scott King
Mr Rogers
All US casualties of the Iraq War
The victims of the West Virginia coal mine disaster
It should be noted that Freddie had met several times with and praised the leadership of our best buddy Saddam Hussein.
by jonzo the weasel July 30, 2006
Get the fred phelps mug.A pop-punk singer. I personaly don't like her music, but as a fellow Canadian, I will say this much for her;
Her music, because of her voice, is unpleasant. But often closet posers and posers who are in denial will, without having heard a single bit of her songs but with the knowlege that she was on MTV, have a wonderful time blasting anyone who listens to her songs as a "sellout," "corporate," "shallow," etc. Judging someone purely on their musical likes is INCREDIBLY STUPID.
Her music, because of her voice, is unpleasant. But often closet posers and posers who are in denial will, without having heard a single bit of her songs but with the knowlege that she was on MTV, have a wonderful time blasting anyone who listens to her songs as a "sellout," "corporate," "shallow," etc. Judging someone purely on their musical likes is INCREDIBLY STUPID.
I think Avril Lavigne is almost unlistenable, but you have the right to listen to her if you want to. To all the kids out there who enjoy bashing and steryotyping her fans, you stupid motherfuckers are WAY shallower than anyone I would want to know.
by Jonzo the Weasel July 29, 2008
Get the Avril Lavigne mug.Someone who, despite possessing physical characteristics and intellect of a nerd, has nicer personality, better hygeine, fewer enemies, and better grades because of their focus on school instead of the internet, sci-fi fan clubs, the lord of the rings, or matheletes. They rarely have close friends, but are respected by most and tend to be gennerally pleasant.
Bill Gates, Alan Greenspan, Warren Buffet, Albert Einstein, and this one kid in my biology class are all half nerds.
by Jonzo the Weasel January 10, 2006
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