Johnny Panic's definitions

brass donkey

Identical to a donkey punch, except performed with a roll of quarters or other coins held in the fist (simulating a set of brass knuckles). This provides a much harder impact that is more likely to knock your partner unconscious.

I lost my job at the bank after getting caught using company property to give the branch manager's wife a brass donkey.

by Johnny Panic December 20, 2007

gravedigger's biscuits

British expression for six-thirty in the evening (6:30 p.m.), which is the time when football (soccer) matches traditionally start.

I'll see you at precisely six-thirty, or as the English call it, gravedigger's biscuits.

by Johnny Panic February 28, 2011

plutonic

A penatration-based sex act so warped and craven that it is "of Pluto", i.e. beyond anal. Although "plutonic" does not refer to any specific act, it could include such acts as ear sex, removing someone's glass eye and having sex with the empty eyesocket, sex with a colostomy stoma, an esophagal stoma, or stab wound.

John and Kim's relationship progressed quickly - on Wednesday they were platonic friends, on Thursday afternoon they were fucking, and by Sunday they started getting into some plutonic shit.

by Johnny Panic February 20, 2008

fv/dw

Abbreviation of "Filmed Vertically, Didn't Watch." Used to express a lack of interest in of watching a cellphone video that was filmed with the camera in an improper orientation, regardless of how potentially interesting the content might be.

I followed a link for a video that shows a unicorn having sex with a manticore, but the idiot who taped it held his phone vertically, so I just tagged it with a "fv/dw" and moved on to a video of the meeting between Hitler and the Dalai Lama.

by Johnny Panic December 5, 2013

Continental

To have had sex with someone from all six inhabited continents (North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Asia, Oceania). Each partner must have been born on the land mass in question to count towards the total.

If I can get my Oceania card punched while I'm in Melbourne, I'll have pulled off the lifetime Continental.

by Johnny Panic February 12, 2009

Prison Rodeo

Identical to a normal rodeo - where the act of coitus is interrupted either by hidden friends or a whispered admission such as "I have syphilis..." and the objective is to maintain penetration for as long as possible despite the receiving partner's best efforts to "throw the rider" - except the prison rodeo involves anal sex (and a vastly increased risk of a horrible, horrible mess).

I was surprised when Ashley was willing to do anal - it turned what I'd had planned as a run-of-the-mill rodeo into a full-on prison rodeo.

by Johnny Panic February 27, 2009

trampoland

A trampoline store.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampoland, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seem to be getting out of control.

by Johnny Panic October 4, 2008