John Heinz Kerry's definitions

stretched lobes

Another reason to kill a random stranger - his or her desire to turn himself into a pseudo-African tribesman.

Dude, the tunneler would be cute except for those earlobes you cold jam a baseball through. Oh, and her 67 tatoos and 14 other piercings. I wonder if she works at (insert loser job here).

by John Heinz Kerry April 19, 2005

turban

The best way to tell when an Arab has reached the age where he can control his bowels. He takes the diaper off his ass and sticks it on his head.

I think Aknad is wearing the new Pampers turban today.

by John Heinz Kerry April 13, 2005

kilt

A pussy cover worn by Scottish "men." Reminds men who do not wear dresses why Scotland has never been a factor in any war since about 500 b.c.

Hey sweetie, when you're done ironing your kilt, bring your ass over here and play my bagpipe.

by John Heinz Kerry August 21, 2006

guyliner

Makeup put on by a guy taking his first steps toward becoming a tranny.

Only the most FLAAAAAAAAAAMING homosexual would wear guyliner.

by John Heinz Kerry December 28, 2005

Anti-crime vaccine

Death by lethal injection. Texas's solution to population control.

They finally gave Spookie-tookie the anti-crime vaccine last week. Yeeeaaahhh boooyyeeee!

by John Heinz Kerry December 19, 2005

sporch

the sound a turd makes when it hits the water of the crapper.

Bob went for the courtesy flush after hearing the sporch, in order to avoid having to take the walk of shame.

by John Heinz Kerry November 12, 2004

lowrider

A vehicle created by a beaner as a use for cash that should probably go to pay his huge child support debt. Usually involves taking some 1970's-era piece of shit and putting about $50,000 worth of hydraulics, custom paint, and wheels into it.

Check out Manuel's Monte Carlo - ai buey, what a cool lowrider, esay.

by John Heinz Kerry November 2, 2004