John Heinz Kerry's definitions

Amalance

A vehicle that takes an ebonics-speaking person to the hospital.

Pronounced "am-b-you-lance" by the English-speaking (read - "educated") world.

Tameka! We gots to get to the hospital! The amalance just camed and brang Jamaal and Dujuan ova dere.

by John Heinz Kerry January 19, 2006

Bastardised English

What the stupid, inbred, hygiene deficient, snaggle-toothed limeys speak.

I know it probably pisses you guys off that we've come farther in 250 years than you could in about 250,000, but find some country in Africa to be mad at.

It's "aloo-mi-num", not "aloo-mi-ni-um"; "jag-war", not "jag-you-are"; and "toothpaste", not "what the hell is that stuff"?

by John Heinz Kerry November 11, 2004

biggie

(1) Big, fat, greasy, bloated, 12-sandwich-eatin', gelatin-assed slob that had a bullet do what cholesterol would have done a few months later anyway.

(2) Tupac's failed body armor.

(3) Poetic justice - killed by the gansta rappers he tried to glorify with his shitty music.

Here, Biggie, have your fifth Big Mac while I go and see who is about to give us a drive-by.

by John Heinz Kerry January 18, 2005

stretched lobes

Another reason to kill a random stranger - his or her desire to turn himself into a pseudo-African tribesman.

Dude, the tunneler would be cute except for those earlobes you cold jam a baseball through. Oh, and her 67 tatoos and 14 other piercings. I wonder if she works at (insert loser job here).

by John Heinz Kerry April 19, 2005

Urbtards

the Down's Syndromed, public-school-dropout morons who put definitions on urbandictionary and flaunt their stupidity by:

(1) misspelling or misabbreviating a word;
(2) using the wrong word ("there" instead of "their"); or
(3) having no fucking idea how to use an apostrophe.

Hey Allison, don't you hate it when those urbtards type "gr8" instead of "great"? How much fucking work is it to type 2 extra letters?

by John Heinz Kerry November 10, 2004

kilt

A pussy cover worn by Scottish "men." Reminds men who do not wear dresses why Scotland has never been a factor in any war since about 500 b.c.

Hey sweetie, when you're done ironing your kilt, bring your ass over here and play my bagpipe.

by John Heinz Kerry August 21, 2006

celica

Car owned by a stupid ass who can't spell people or Celica. See urbtards.

Damn! I shoold pay moor atenshun in skool so I coold lurn to spel goodur.
Dumbass.

by John Heinz Kerry March 10, 2005