John Heinz Kerry's definitions

stretched lobes

Another reason to kill a random stranger - his or her desire to turn himself into a pseudo-African tribesman.

Dude, the tunneler would be cute except for those earlobes you cold jam a baseball through. Oh, and her 67 tatoos and 14 other piercings. I wonder if she works at (insert loser job here).

by John Heinz Kerry April 19, 2005

kilt

A pussy cover worn by Scottish "men." Reminds men who do not wear dresses why Scotland has never been a factor in any war since about 500 b.c.

Hey sweetie, when you're done ironing your kilt, bring your ass over here and play my bagpipe.

by John Heinz Kerry August 21, 2006

Urbtards

the Down's Syndromed, public-school-dropout morons who put definitions on urbandictionary and flaunt their stupidity by:

(1) misspelling or misabbreviating a word;
(2) using the wrong word ("there" instead of "their"); or
(3) having no fucking idea how to use an apostrophe.

Hey Allison, don't you hate it when those urbtards type "gr8" instead of "great"? How much fucking work is it to type 2 extra letters?

by John Heinz Kerry November 10, 2004

celica

Car owned by a stupid ass who can't spell people or Celica. See urbtards.

Damn! I shoold pay moor atenshun in skool so I coold lurn to spel goodur.
Dumbass.

by John Heinz Kerry March 10, 2005

turban

The best way to tell when an Arab has reached the age where he can control his bowels. He takes the diaper off his ass and sticks it on his head.

I think Aknad is wearing the new Pampers turban today.

by John Heinz Kerry April 13, 2005

grillz

Gold or platinum diamond encrusted junk moon crickets put on their teefus. A guarantee that a person has more money than brains.

Nelly putted some grillz on his teefus, then proceeded to ruin them with a bucket of extra crispy.

by John Heinz Kerry February 24, 2006

Bastardised English

What the stupid, inbred, hygiene deficient, snaggle-toothed limeys speak.

I know it probably pisses you guys off that we've come farther in 250 years than you could in about 250,000, but find some country in Africa to be mad at.

It's "aloo-mi-num", not "aloo-mi-ni-um"; "jag-war", not "jag-you-are"; and "toothpaste", not "what the hell is that stuff"?

by John Heinz Kerry November 11, 2004