John Heinz Kerry's definitions

stretched lobes

Another reason to kill a random stranger - his or her desire to turn himself into a pseudo-African tribesman.

Dude, the tunneler would be cute except for those earlobes you cold jam a baseball through. Oh, and her 67 tatoos and 14 other piercings. I wonder if she works at (insert loser job here).

by John Heinz Kerry April 19, 2005

kilt

A pussy cover worn by Scottish "men." Reminds men who do not wear dresses why Scotland has never been a factor in any war since about 500 b.c.

Hey sweetie, when you're done ironing your kilt, bring your ass over here and play my bagpipe.

by John Heinz Kerry August 21, 2006

Anti-crime vaccine

Death by lethal injection. Texas's solution to population control.

They finally gave Spookie-tookie the anti-crime vaccine last week. Yeeeaaahhh boooyyeeee!

by John Heinz Kerry December 19, 2005

guyliner

Makeup put on by a guy taking his first steps toward becoming a tranny.

Only the most FLAAAAAAAAAAMING homosexual would wear guyliner.

by John Heinz Kerry December 28, 2005

sporch

the sound a turd makes when it hits the water of the crapper.

Bob went for the courtesy flush after hearing the sporch, in order to avoid having to take the walk of shame.

by John Heinz Kerry November 12, 2004

biggie

(1) Big, fat, greasy, bloated, 12-sandwich-eatin', gelatin-assed slob that had a bullet do what cholesterol would have done a few months later anyway.

(2) Tupac's failed body armor.

(3) Poetic justice - killed by the gansta rappers he tried to glorify with his shitty music.

Here, Biggie, have your fifth Big Mac while I go and see who is about to give us a drive-by.

by John Heinz Kerry January 18, 2005

Bastardised English

What the stupid, inbred, hygiene deficient, snaggle-toothed limeys speak.

I know it probably pisses you guys off that we've come farther in 250 years than you could in about 250,000, but find some country in Africa to be mad at.

It's "aloo-mi-num", not "aloo-mi-ni-um"; "jag-war", not "jag-you-are"; and "toothpaste", not "what the hell is that stuff"?

by John Heinz Kerry November 11, 2004