Bumkicker Slade's definitions

whomper

Automotive accessory installed by very stupid, anti-social, greasy-haired Pachuco boys in their cars. They do this for two reasons. First, it annoys decent people. Second, it will make them deaf as a post, and liberal politicians can offer Pachukes yet another entitlement, free hearing aids paid for by YOU and YOUR taxes.

The greasy-haired Pachuco cruised through the neighborhood with his whompers blasting.

by Bumkicker Slade April 24, 2005

russian roulette

A STUPID game of chance played with a partially-loaded REVOLVER.

The idiot cop who used an automatic pistol was playing Polish Roulette.

Six Crips sat around playing Russian Roulette, which is not a bad thing for Crips to do.

by Bumkicker Slade April 25, 2005

zoot suit

A suit worn by Pachuco boys when they stop hanging out on street corners and beating each other up, and go to a dance.

Raymond wore a zoot suit in public, and all decent people were outraged.

by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005

greasy spoon

A small cafe or beanery that serves fried and deep-fried foods. The food is often delicious and always bad for you.

The Dell Cafe is Castro Valley's oldest greasy spoon.

by Bumkicker Slade May 7, 2005

spit

To expectorate.

This action is done by baseball pitchers to indicate that they are indeed on the mound.

It is done by inner city hoodlums as a sign of contempt, and as an indicator of their feeble intellect.

And it is done by cowboys as they gallantly open the door of a pickup truck for a lady.

As you walk past the open door of a public men's room, you can hear men hawking and spitting. As you walk past the open door of a public ladies' room, you cannot. Nobody has a good explanation of this phenomenon. Suffice it to say, spitting is a man's practice. Not even low life women spit much.

Pete opened the door of his pickup for Sara Sue. As she was getting out, he spit on the street between her feet. "Oh, such a gentleman," she said.

by Bumkicker Slade May 10, 2005

brass monkey

A creature whose ass is continually at the upper limit of extreme cold.

It's colder than a brass monkey's ass.

by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005

street sweeper

A person who, acting alone and without gang affiliation, forcibly ejects crips, bloods, pachuco boys, and other predatory criminals and terrorists from public places. He removes one or more greasy slimes at a time, either temporarily or permenantly. He works freelance, and is not a fuzz, a cop, or other deputized hireling.

Bumkicker Slade was, in his younger days, an infamous Oakland street sweeper. The local homies warned each other about him, saying "Ooooo weeee, watch out fo dat white boy. He be crazy!" A cool shotgun was named after him because it was almost as effective.

by Bumkicker Slade April 30, 2005