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Definitions by Bumkicker Slade

Dead Indian 

After the party, a dozen dead Indians lay on the floor.

Ahab the Arab 

An excellent song by Ray Stevens that offends all good white liberals.
Let me tell you 'bout Ahab The Arab
The Sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just dripping off 'a him
And a ring on every finger of his hands

He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evening about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde...and ride

Spoken

Silently through the night to the sultan's tent where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils, swingingest grade "A" number one U.S. choice dancer in the Sultan's whole harem, 'cause, heh, him and her had a thing going. You know, and they'd been carrying on for some time now behind the Sultan's back and you could hear him talk to his camel as he rode out across the dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert air and he'd say (imitate Arabian speech) which is arabic for, "stop, Clyde!" and Clyde would say, (imitate camel voice). Which is camel for, "What the heck did he say anyway?"
Well....


He brought that camel to a screeching halt
At the rear of Fatima's tent jumped off Clyde,
Snuck around the corner and into the tent he went
There he saw Fatima laying on a Zebra skin rug
Wearing rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
And a bone in her nose ho, ho.
Spoken

There she was friends lying there in all her radiant beauty. Eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate, bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars, sipping on a "R C" Co-Cola listening to her transistor, watching the Grand Ole Opry on the tube reading the Mad magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor?" and Ahab walked up to her and he said, (imitate Arabian speech) which is arabic for, "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby." (laughter) You know what I mean! Whew! She looked up at him from off the rug, give him one of the sly looks, she said, (coy, girlish laugh) "Crazy baby".
'Round and around and around and around...etc.


And that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The Sheik of the Burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab
The swinging Sheik of the burnin' sand

toad sticker 

A bayonet. Common in the days of the War Between the States. Common in World War II.

A knife. Common since mid 19th century.
Emil carved up a Mun with his toad sticker.
Bags of salt water inserted behind the breasts of insecure women "educated" in public schools, for the purpose of giving the breasts an unnatural, bowling-ball appearance and an unpleasant feel.
Sandra busted Mr. Larson's jaw with her implants as she did a dance on the stage.
implant by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005

Stoopnagel 

A dim-bulb boob. A thoroughly stupid chump.

Named after Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagel (F. Chase Taylor), a character on the radio a long time ago.
Richard eats pancakes cooked on one side only, batter-side up. He's a real Stoopnagel!

skidmarks 

Fartstain. Cooney Gravy. Nicotine stains in your underwear.
When the ambulance crew wheeled Sheila into the hospital, they found she had skidmarks.
skidmarks by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005

slob swab 

A napkin. A piece of table linen used for mopping gravy from your lips.
Buddy Jack tied a slob swab around his neck before dinner, greatly impressing Wilma Sue's mother. "That boy got hisself some fine manners," she said.
slob swab by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005