Brian H's definitions

Testicuzzi

To get this to work, you need to get a chick to gargle a gigantic mouthful of warm water. You then get on top of her face and teabag her. It should be just like a jacuzzi for your balls! (Pronounced Test-i-coo-zee)

My balls have never felt better then when Cara gave them a testicuzzi

by Brian H October 26, 2005

golden starfish

When a chick wants to go anal with you, instead of lube, use instant tanning lotion. It'll feel the same, but when you're done, she'll have a semi-permanant orange ring around her asshole, and she'll have no idea that it's there!

I knew Sara had cheated on me, so before I dumped her, I gave her a golden starfish

by Brian H October 26, 2005

scrump

A chick so nasty and disgusting that even beer goggles won't do her justice.

Even though I was completely hammered and she was 150 yards away, I could still tell that Sharon was a complete scrump

by Brian H October 26, 2005

Hockey Style

This pertains to when you bring a girl back to your house who has a decent body, but her face is nasty (a butterface). When she wants to have sex, you pull her shirt over her head like hockey players do when they get into fights and then bang the hell out of her. It'll be just like you were banging a hot chick!

Sara wanted to do it, but she was a complete scrump so I screwed her hockey style

by Brian H October 26, 2005

mulie

Slang word for a chick that prefers anal to traditional vaginal sex. These girls tend to be a little more sexually promiscuous than the average woman. (prounounced mule - ee)

When I looked under the table and noticed that Jill didn't have any panties on, I knew then and there that she was a total Mulie and I was gonna get lucky tonight.

by Brian H October 19, 2005

jungle trudging

When you are about to go down on a chick for the first time, and you see that she's never trimmed "there" and you realize that you'll need a machette to get to your destination. You say "fuck it" and go anyways.

I'd only seen something with that much hair at the zoo but I was horny so I went jungle trudging.

by Brian H October 17, 2005

california style

A strange form of masterbation where (if right handed) you lift your right leg up and put your right arm underneath your right leg. You then proceed to whack off with your arm underneath your leg. To be done correctly, the inside of your elbow should be rubbing against the bottom of your thigh

holy hell, I've never done anything crazy, but I shalacked the meat California style last night, and it was sweet!

by Brian H October 13, 2005