AKACroatalin's definitions

Monkey Fucking

Adjective used to refer to a person usually male who will have sex with any woman. Someone who is so indiscriminate that they would fuck a female monkey. Eventually its use was broadened so that it became used to describe anyone whose habits are unpleasant, unsavoury or just plain weird.

"Malcolm, you are, without doubt, the most useless cunt eyed, shit-licking, monkey fucking, piss-brained, ass kissing, fuck witted WOSP in the world!"

by AKACroatalin March 28, 2015

Counterproductive Workplace Behaviour

This is behaviour on the part of an employee or employees that works against the legitimate interests of the organisation that employs them or indeed their own interests. This sort of behaviour is detrimental to the organisation, its employees, clients and customers. It is believed that persons with a tendency to experience anger are more likely to respond to a stressful situation, such as being treated unfairly with counterproductive workplace behaviour.

When the supervisor blamed Charlie for his own mistake, Charlie deliberately jammed all three photocopiers in a fit of counterproductive workplace behaviour.

by AKACroatalin June 11, 2015

Traffic Calming Measure

This is something that happens in supermarkets; a two-seater with a trolley is wandering slowly and aimlessly down the aisles with a queue of other customers behind them. They seem apathetic and prepared to tolerate the slow progress, none of them apparently capable of saying “Excuse me” or “Can I just get by” or even “Get out of the way you fat, useless lump of shit!”
See also red rover, Traffic Jam, Road Block.

I went to the supermarket to pick up some food but didn’t bother, the place was full of traffic calming measures.

by AKACroatalin August 13, 2016

Dooberry

A mild slang name for a penis, supposedly less offensive that cock, prick, or dick, it does not have the fecal connotations of dingleberry but is used to describe the penis in much the same circumstances by much the same people. In addition it can also be used as a mildly disparaging term for a person who has exasperated you by doing something atypically stupid.

"I had to rush like hell to get here on time. I was halfway here when I remembered I'd left the contract in my desk at home and had to go back for them, I felt like a right dooberry."

by AKACroatalin March 16, 2015

Untoward

Untoward has a number of different meanings, three of the commonest uses are as follows:-

1 Unexpected and inconvenient;
2 Inappropriate, improper or unseemly;
3 Unfavourable or adverse;

1 The picnic was interrupted by an untoward shower of rain;
2 Malcolm’s untoward advances were rewarded with a kick in the nuts;
3 Some prescription drugs have untoward side effects;

by AKACroatalin October 24, 2016

Cock Happy

This expression can be used to describe anyone, male, female or transgender. When applied to a male it usually means that he is a monkey fucking idiot who thinks only about sex and is only happy when he is using his cock and will use it on any female even the most minging munter imaginable. When applied to a female the implication is that she is a nymphomaniac and is only happy when she has a cock, any cock, even that of a monkey fucking idiot inside her. With transgender either or both definitions could apply.

Malcolm would like to be cock happy, but he washed it for the first time and it shrank to a winky.

by AKACroatalin December 29, 2016

Fart Fact 14

This is the very last one in the series but every single one of them is true! This one tells you that farting isn't rude or disgusting. It may seem that way because they usually smell bad, but it's just something a healthy human body does, a normal by-product of your body digesting food, so if you need to let one go, do it and if anyone objects fuck ‘em.

“Mikey let rip in class, teacher called him on it, so he explained fart Fact 14 to her and suggested if she was worried she should see her doctor. I nearly bust a gut trying not to laugh.”

by AKACroatalin November 3, 2019