Definitions by AKACroatalin

Toe Rag 

A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.

1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.

Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016

No Shit 

US Army slang in common use during the Vietnam War but probably originated during the Korean War. The phrase has multiple meanings which are dependent on the inflexion used and can usually only be determined from the context of the conversation. Four of the commonest are:-
1 No shit? – Are you giving me the facts?
2 No shit! – I am telling you the absolute truth!
3 No shit. – Don’t give me any lies or evasions.
4 No shit? (A question but with an implicit sneer) – Why don’t you carry on stating the obvious, you dumb cocksucker?

“Get your gear together, Charlie’s had his ass kicked and we’ve got 24 hours in Saigon!”
“No shit?”
“No shit!”

No Shit by AKACroatalin November 22, 2016

Gasper 

British Army slang for a cigarette believed to date from around the time of the Second Boer War 1899 – 1902. A gasper was a high tar cigarette, without any sort of filter tip, such as Woodbine or Capstan. They got the name because smoking caused the troops to gasp for breath when engaged in strenuous exercise.

“I'd just got clipped by a Boer bullet, nuffin' serious, so Jack gimme a gasper while he put a dressing on it.”

Gasper by AKACroatalin November 21, 2016

Moo 

A rather more polite way of calling an unpleasant, disagreeable female a cow

“You silly moo!”
(By courtesy of Alf Garnett)

Moo by AKACroatalin November 20, 2016

Yclept 

Yclept is another way of saying also known as or AKA. Its original meaning was “going by the name of” and as such was used, in England, by Victorian police forces if a criminal had more than one name. It was also used by the criminals themselves when they wished to confused members of the general public to whom it was virtually unknown. It can also be used to mean so-called, in the sense of a name given to someone or something that is unfit for purpose. At one time it was believed that the word was related kleptomaniac, that the person it was applied to would steal anything, even another name, however, the origins of Yclept go back to the mediaeval English word “geoclepod” which meant “who is called” or “whose name is”. It’s very rarely used now, but could be useful if you want to bring some wiseass know-it-all down to earth, because you can bet they won’t know what it means.

Overenthusiastic user of Magniloquence yclept mouthy idiot of a politician.

Yclept by AKACroatalin November 20, 2016

DGBS 

Acronym standing for Do Good By Stealth. Originally part of a longer phrase “Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame” it can be found in “An Essay on Man” by Alexander Pope. What it means is to do a good deed for someone or to make a donation to charity without anyone knowing that you have done so. You do it because it’s a good thing to do and you do it in such a way that no-one finds out about it. This means that it is the total opposite of what some so-called celebrities do, namely, supporting a charity with as much self-aggrandising publicity and bullshit as possible to try to revive their non-existent careers. It’s also completely different to some mega-rich waster making a huge donation to charity as a status symbol. DGBS is done in a way that avoids recognition, so it is an end in itself, and what is gained is self-respect.

For real self-respect, DGBS.

DGBS by AKACroatalin November 20, 2016

Bat-faced Jelly 

Uncomplimentary nickname for Camilla Batmanghelidgh (pronounced bætmængelɪdʒ), people in the USA probably won’t gave heard of her, but she’s the weirdo hamplanet who set up a charity called Kids Company in the UK which closed amid allegations of misuse of funds and child abuse in 2015. Investigations showed that despite having had over £46 million of taxpayers’ money the charity’s financial arrangements were chaotic and considerable sums had been used for purposes outside the remit of the charity. When this came to light, Bat-faced Jelly went into damage limitation overdrive (she made Donald Trump look like an amateur). Unfortunately her idea of damage limitation seemed to be more along the lines of avoiding personal blame, apparently never having heard of the buck stops here. While the closure of the “charity” may have been regretted by some, the reaction of the vast majority was relief that the government wouldn’t hand over any more of their taxes to a bunch of wasters.

“Did you hear old Bat-faced Jelly in that radio interview?”
“Yeah, no wonder she got so much money out of the Government, she can beat politicians at bullshitting!”

Bat-faced Jelly by AKACroatalin November 20, 2016