Deafness

Someone who suffers from deafness has limited, or suffered complete loss of hearing.

-Oy, this Johnny is pissin' me off. I called him a dickhead earlier but he didnt even look at me.
-Yeah, he suffer from deafness.

by StafuYo April 7, 2018

Yawn deafness

A condition where, at the peak of a big yawn, one suffers a few seconds of deafness due to the opening and closing of the eustachian tubes connecting the ear and throat. Opportunists who know of another's yawn deafness use this condition to say something to the person yawning that they don't want them to hear - usually an insult, but spoken under breath or in a normal conversational tone. Better practice is to do it with friends present who will all hear what you said. A sizeable yawn can open up a good 5 seconds of deafness opportunity.

NOTE: Not everyone suffers yawn deafness, so there is always a risk when you try it on someone new.

Ken: Man ... that was a hard day's work (starts yawning)

Fred: I came twice in your wife's arse last night.

Ken: (finishes yawning) Sorry - yawn deafness ... what was that?

Fred: Nothing ... I was just agreeing with you. Hard day indeed.

by TMA-1 December 20, 2008

Ipod Deafness Syndrome

Deafness caused by an ipod blaring in one's ear. Often really, really, annoying and occasionally provokes anger.

Jake "Dude, where's the food?"

-silence-

Jake " wheres the &*&4 food!"

Rick "don't bother dude, he's got Ipod Deafness Syndrome.

Jake "oh."

by KrispeKream February 23, 2010

Cell-U-Lar Onset Deafness

When parents are trying to call their teenagers to tell them that it is time to come home and the teenager for some apparent reason does hear the cell phone ring so that they can stay out longer with their friends.

While trying to call my son to tell him that he is out past his curfew and needs to come home, he contracted

Cell-U-Lar Onset Deafness, and does not hear the phone call from his mom.

by peaceangel22 June 29, 2011

Domestic deafness

A condition similar to that of domestic blindness, again usually affecting the males of the household. Largely effects teenagers also. It is when someone repeats themself over and over and the other party does not respond. It's like talking to a brick wall!

Domestic deafness is when a wife gently asks her husband: "Darling, can you please put on some washing?

Male: No response, (most likely staring at the football game).
"... darling?"
"...darling?"
"OI YOU!"

Finally a response: "Oh! Sorry. What?"

Related terms are talking to a brick wall, speaking into thin air, i've been a-knocking but no-one's home, or the lights are on but no-one's home

by Shellruby December 29, 2008

YouTube Deafness

Temporary hearing loss attributed to watching a low-quality, quiet video on YouTube with poor audio then switching to a video that is louder with better audio quality.

Usually only applies when the victim is wearing headphones due to the unexpected blast of sound that comes with switching videos.

Person 1: Oh man I cant hear anything right now. I was watching a quiet music video on YouTube and I switched to a loud one and it blew out my eardrums man!

Person 2: Yeah man that's called YouTube Deafness. It has happened to me too. Just wait a couple of minutes and it will clear right up.

by Anigav Senip July 27, 2010

kitchen deafness

when person 1 in one room (e.g living room) tries to talk to person 2 in another room (kitchen) but person 2 cannot hear a word person 1 is saying because both rooms are a considerable distance apart.

"my friend always calls out to me when i am in the kitchen and he is in the living room. i can never seem to hear what he is saying in this situation. a sign of kitchen deafness"

by l0lm4tt August 23, 2011