you are not the father

The opposite of you are the father. Meaning a male is not the biological father of a child.

Most often also heard on the Maury Show, when the girl who was banging 16 different guys at the time she got pregnant has no idea who her baby daddy is.

Unlike its counterpart, the words every guy wants to hear if they had sex with some of the nasty ho's on there.

Denise, a 17 year old mother of Shantell, is 1000% sure Elron is the father of the little girl. Elron has stated 'Dat baby don' look nutin' like me' and 'Dat girl iz a hoe!" while Denise screams at him to 'Be a man!' and "Step up to yo' responsibilitays!" Maury holds the envelope-

"When it comes to the case of 2-year old Shantell, Elron...you are NOT the father!"

*Elron then stands up overjoyed and elated, and calls Denise a hoe, slut, and bitch or other similar words as she runs off crying. Elron then whoops it up with the crowd while Denise screams in agony

you are not the father by ACG2x September 8, 2004

You are not the father

The words that every man loves to hear!

Maury: I hold in my hand the results to the paternity test and...

Cole: *sweating*

Maury: Cole You are not the father!

Cole: I told you bitch I wasn't!

You are not the father by Ari Shaffir September 25, 2011

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You are NOT the father

If you are on the Maury show, and as your head is producing a shower of sweat, to hear those words is like dodging a bullet Maxtrix style. You gloat and probably dance around while that hoe breaks down in tears and runs off to the backstage area to cry harder and sometimes louder.

"In the case of 7th month old child Shauna, Jason, you are NOT the father."

*She breaks down in tears and runs off backstage while Jason does a Michael Jackson impersonation and yells, "THE KID IS NOT MY SON!!!"*

You are NOT the father by Royal_Defense710 October 18, 2014

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Utility beer

Utility beer is the beer you keep around for the day-to-day moments when beer is a necessity to assist in pedestrian activities (golf, plumbing, yardwork, babysitting, staff meetings, Zoom calls). For the beer snob it is the beer you save for neighbors when they drop in at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday. It is differentiated from the actual high-end beer you save for special events, holidays, and special tastings.

Person 1: Dave, did you bring along those hazy craft IPA's so we could drink while cleaning Lyle's pool?
Person 2: Nope. I just have a bunch of utility beer that Steve dumped on me. Good enough for this. It is only 10:30 a.m.

Utility beer by lakeshore February 1, 2022

Word of the Day on August 10, 2026

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Oinking

Police activity, especially of the non-productive type i.e. The act of setting up and patrolling speed traps, harassing or arresting people based on appearance (racial profiling), breaking up parties, any sort of cannabis bust, etc.

"Did you see all the cops on highway 6? They are oinking hard!"

"I hope Johnny doesn't get caught with his bag of weed, the pigs are oinking"

Oinking by DontDrinkSoda June 29, 2013

Word of the Day on August 9, 2026

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Hopeslop

A video or picture depicting an unrealistic scenario that is often seen as hopeful but in reality, is unrealistic or otherwise rare in real life.

"0/10 hopeslop"

Hopeslop by rawmilkconsumer69 July 13, 2026

Word of the Day on August 8, 2026

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trespooping

The act of leaving poop in a toilet for the next person to see.

Someone needs to stop trespooping and flush that nasty thing down the toilet.

trespooping by TheRealInkweaver November 16, 2017

Word of the Day on August 7, 2026

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