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Wacking Off In My Tool Shed 

Addictive behaviour conducted in demeaning and surreptitious circumstances.
(On finding a dieting woman wolfing ice cream right out of the bucket while standing in front of the freezer at 2 am): "Are you whacking off in the tool shed again?"

wiking off 

A neologism. The practice of reading essentially random Wikipedia pages for entertainment or as a procrastination technique; alludes to intellectual masturbation.
I caught my boyfriend wiking off at the computer the other night.

Quit wiking off and get back to work!
wiking off by yeastbeast October 10, 2005

wacking off

i was wacking off for 2 hours straight last night.
wacking off by Alexanderia October 27, 2006

Wacking Off In My Tool Shed 

from the latin whackingus ofingus innus myus toolus shedus meaning to get freaky in a secretive location
I love wacking off in my tool shed with my boyfriend who is extraordinarily endowned

Wiking Off 

The act of masturbating to the frank visual depictions seen in images on particularly salacious wikipedia pages.
Man: I was bummed that my iPhone blocks porn until I found the wikipedia article on Lesbian Sexual Acts. I was wiking off all night!
Wiking Off by Colonel Wow April 12, 2011

Wacking Off

When your cousin apprentice op/emj is always Wacking off at Work!! Steven are you Wacking off again?