n: the act of masturbating with a level of enthusiasm and vigour that one can only achieve with the knowledge of the impending end of the world.
Craig sat quietly in the room while his undead friends and family members scratches at the door and the last of the battery power drained from the torch. "Fuck it!" Said Craig, "I'm busting out an Armageddon Wank before they break in."
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"