voldins
A penis.
Get the voldins mug.
Darth Voldism
Alternative genre of Harry Potter fandom featuring story lines in which the Dark Lord Voldemort turns out to be Harry's dad. Influenced by an obscure line of space adventure movies coming from southern California via Tunisia, Italy and Norway, inter alia.
Typical scene from the vaults of Darth Voldism:
Voldemort scanned the graveyard with his glaring red eyes, the snowy whiteness of his face twitching as he looked about for that annoying teenager. If only he could be made to understand, everything would be so simple ...,
He turned down a blind alley of tombstones backed with impenetrable briars, and there was Harry in front of him.
Harry swallowed hard and levelled his wand, but he did not unleash anything Voldemort's way, no doubt foolish and desperate enough to expect Voldemort to say something that might help Harry out of this impasse.
Yet Voldemort was not about to try any unwarranted aggression, and in fact when he spoke his voice was almost gentle.
"Why do you insist on running, Harry? Why don't you join me? You know it is futile to resist. Join me, and together we can rule the worlds of wizards and Muggles alike. There is nothing we cannot do ...,"
"I'll never join you", Harry said. "Never! Do you hear? I'm not like you at all."
"Ahh", said Voldemort, "but Albus never told you the truth, did he? About what really happened on that night fourteen years ago ...,"
"He told me enough. You're a mass murderer. You've slaughtered hundreds of wizards. You murdered my parents. You murdered my mother. You killed my father."
At that, Voldemort's face grew solemn and a little sad. Holding his wand aside, he spread his arms in greeting.
"No, Harry. I did not kill your father. I ... AM your father."
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
Voldemort scanned the graveyard with his glaring red eyes, the snowy whiteness of his face twitching as he looked about for that annoying teenager. If only he could be made to understand, everything would be so simple ...,
He turned down a blind alley of tombstones backed with impenetrable briars, and there was Harry in front of him.
Harry swallowed hard and levelled his wand, but he did not unleash anything Voldemort's way, no doubt foolish and desperate enough to expect Voldemort to say something that might help Harry out of this impasse.
Yet Voldemort was not about to try any unwarranted aggression, and in fact when he spoke his voice was almost gentle.
"Why do you insist on running, Harry? Why don't you join me? You know it is futile to resist. Join me, and together we can rule the worlds of wizards and Muggles alike. There is nothing we cannot do ...,"
"I'll never join you", Harry said. "Never! Do you hear? I'm not like you at all."
"Ahh", said Voldemort, "but Albus never told you the truth, did he? About what really happened on that night fourteen years ago ...,"
"He told me enough. You're a mass murderer. You've slaughtered hundreds of wizards. You murdered my parents. You murdered my mother. You killed my father."
At that, Voldemort's face grew solemn and a little sad. Holding his wand aside, he spread his arms in greeting.
"No, Harry. I did not kill your father. I ... AM your father."
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
Darth Voldism by Fearman January 7, 2008
Related Words
volding
an immense pain In your stomach when you laugh and accidentally sound like Voldemort violently screeching "hhnng abra cadabra!"
fogey
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)