upolestery

A dude's "cushion" of pubic-hair dat surrounds his "column".

Anytime a guy brags about his nice "upolestery", I ask him if da "carpet matches da drapes".

upolestery by QuacksO August 16, 2025

upholstery 

Slang for the hair on a woman's upper legs, stomach, and back.

Guy to a red haired girl: So, does the carpet match the drapes?
Red haired girl: Yeah. But not the upholstery.

(Thanks xkcd!)

upholstery by Tanaka Mushi April 4, 2009

palate for upholstery 

When you have a particular fondness of the taste of carpet in your mouth, also known as a rug muncher or a lesbian.

Wow, look at that girl with the short spikey hair, she definitely has a palate for upholstery

palate for upholstery by juleybee December 14, 2010

upholstery 

Slang/meme for Armpit hair

Started by xkcd

I'd prefer a girl with ZERO upholstery

upholstery by annhltr April 4, 2009

upholstery orphans 

the loads of baby batter that drip down your crack and leaves stains on your upholstery

Bitch, look at all the upholstery orphans on the couch, you shoulda taken that shit to the bathroom for a porcelain abortion for real!

upholstery orphans by squeak69 November 28, 2009

upholstery demon 

When someone passes gas on your couch that's so foul when the person leaves the smell stays in the upholstery

Dude, why the hell does your apartment smell so bad?

Because Larry came over last night and left an upholstery demon...

upholstery demon by Upholstery Demon March 25, 2019

Upholstery Cleaning Melbourne 

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Upholstery Cleaning Melbourne by Upholstey Cleaning Melbourne September 9, 2021