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two speed 

Used to describe people who are incapable, whether through disinterest or the inability to stop, of drinking socially: they either have a single drink, or they get completely shitfaced.
Person 1: Gents, who's up for a few brewskis after work tonight?
Person 2: Great idea, I could really use a couple of bevvies. Should I invite Dave?
Person 1: Nah, it's a Thursday night so you know he'll flake - we'll invite him tomorrow to get absolutely rinsed though!
Person 2: Classic two speed Dave.
two speed by alex101111 July 22, 2017
Words you can keep

Two Second Speed Up 

When a guido approaches slowly in his tricked out Honda Civic, speeds up for the 2 seconds it takes to pass you in order to look sweet, then immediately slows down again.

Plant two trees with one seed 

Getting two things done at once.
We are planning a trip to California this summer, while we are there we are going to visit my parents. This way we can

'plant two trees with one seed'.

Feed two birds with one seed

A phrase one uses when they are too much of a pussy to use the established and correct adage.

For the correct usage, see “Kill two birds with one stone.”
I am an extremely annoying person, so I feed two birds with one seed by also regularly misusing adages.

Angel Jose Robles, Hellstorm, Hellstromism, Hellstromismu, Holi, Holism, Holismu, Messenger Add Oak Speedrunning High School Of Graphic Communication Arts Is Resident Evil Two

Angel Jose Robles, Hellstorm, Hellstromism, Hellstromismu, Holi, Holism, Holismu, Messenger Add Oak Speedrunning High School Of Graphic Communication Arts Is Resident Evil Two
Angel Jose Robles, Hellstorm, Hellstromism, Hellstromismu, Holi, Holism, Holismu, Messenger Add Oak Speedrunning High School Of Graphic Communication Arts Is Resident Evil Two
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Lookie at these bunch of narps, NARP NARP NARP
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He is high school liquid, he ate lunch with the nerds and hung out with the jocks after school.
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