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two speed

Used to describe people who are incapable, whether through disinterest or the inability to stop, of drinking socially: they either have a single drink, or they get completely shitfaced.
Person 1: Gents, who's up for a few brewskis after work tonight?
Person 2: Great idea, I could really use a couple of bevvies. Should I invite Dave?
Person 1: Nah, it's a Thursday night so you know he'll flake - we'll invite him tomorrow to get absolutely rinsed though!
Person 2: Classic two speed Dave.
by alex101111 July 22, 2017
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Two Second Speed Up

When a guido approaches slowly in his tricked out Honda Civic, speeds up for the 2 seconds it takes to pass you in order to look sweet, then immediately slows down again.
by CPD2011 May 11, 2011
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Plant two trees with one seed

Getting two things done at once.
We are planning a trip to California this summer, while we are there we are going to visit my parents. This way we can

'plant two trees with one seed'.
by 1 Love July 11, 2010
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Feed two birds with one seed

A phrase one uses when they are too much of a pussy to use the established and correct adage.

For the correct usage, see “Kill two birds with one stone.”
I am an extremely annoying person, so I feed two birds with one seed by also regularly misusing adages.
by Professor Computer November 12, 2018
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