Stogner
Stogner
German noun
A small, delicate man—typically under 5’6”—who compensates for his diminutive stature with extraordinary and completely unverifiable claims of physical prowess.
A Stogner may insist he can bench 300 pounds, dunk a basketball, or that he is actually 5’6”, despite overwhelming eyewitness and forensic evidence to the contrary.
Though outwardly displaying tremendous bravado, the Stogner is emotionally fragile. When lightly teased, he will deploy his primary defense mechanisms: the pouty scowl, prolonged silence, and occasionally the activation of his tear glands to warn others that they have gone too far.
Physically, the Stogner is often described as resembling a skinny fourth grader who recently discovered facial hair.
Stogners are rarely observed near active chores, dirty dishes, cooking, or any situation in which another person might accidentally hand them something to do.
German noun
A small, delicate man—typically under 5’6”—who compensates for his diminutive stature with extraordinary and completely unverifiable claims of physical prowess.
A Stogner may insist he can bench 300 pounds, dunk a basketball, or that he is actually 5’6”, despite overwhelming eyewitness and forensic evidence to the contrary.
Though outwardly displaying tremendous bravado, the Stogner is emotionally fragile. When lightly teased, he will deploy his primary defense mechanisms: the pouty scowl, prolonged silence, and occasionally the activation of his tear glands to warn others that they have gone too far.
Physically, the Stogner is often described as resembling a skinny fourth grader who recently discovered facial hair.
Stogners are rarely observed near active chores, dirty dishes, cooking, or any situation in which another person might accidentally hand them something to do.
“Hey, have you seen Eric?”
“No. I told him no one believes he can dunk earlier and now he’s being a real Stogner.”
“No. I told him no one believes he can dunk earlier and now he’s being a real Stogner.”
Stogner by Justacoworker August 12, 2026
