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soft off

Not a hard on. When a dick can not get enough blood flow to make sex or handys fun.
"I did too much coke to have sex. I had a soft off the whole time."

"When she took everything off I sported a soft off"
by trickdaddyskeet February 18, 2012
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Soft Off

The complete opposite of a hard on. It wasn't coined by that other douche bag. It was on "I hope they serve beer in hell". Anyway. It's when ur dick is 6900 percent flaccid.
That bitch is so ugly that I got a soft off when she walked in to this titty bar.
by middy69 August 13, 2010
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soft off

the total opposite of a hard on. Hence soft off, with soft being the opposite of hard and off being the opposite of on. lol. A term coined by urs truly. Used to describe the condition of a dick when seeing something totally unatural and FUCKING DISGUSTING.
WOW EMILY'S ASS IS SOOO FUCKING WAK!!! it's like a big block of textureless shit. If i saw her naked, i wud definately get a soft off.
by M & V Unit January 2, 2005
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off this like soft dicks

Yo boy we off this like soft dicks
by dark desus August 27, 2017
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Soft Office Bod

Soft Office Bod is ultimately the body you get from working in an office all day: 8 hrs, florescent lights and a chair for your fat ass. Soft, lumpy and pale. Soft Office Bod is a noun, not a verb, and never used with the word, "a" in front of it.
Dang, now that I have this full-time job I sure have soft office bod. Where did my beach body go?

or

Charlie: "Whoa, what's that frightening white thing over there?"

Joe: "Oh that's Allison. She got a job as an accountant, and now she's got full-on soft office bod."
by thelittlecupcake May 20, 2010
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Soft Office

Evolution of working from home - working from bed.

After several staggered alarm snoozes, waking 5 minutes before your shift starts, you drag the laptop into the warm sanctuary of cosy goodness for a your wretched day of work.

You'll likely only get up for coffee and comfort breaks and you may well don a shirt over your pjs in case you get a video call from your boss.

The unlucky may fall foul of napping through an entire morning to wake up drenched in sweat, having missed 7 Skype calls from an angry Manager.
Cor blimey, I went one too many on the Sunday wines last night. How fortunate I’m in the soft office tomorrow.
by BeebopandRocksteady May 20, 2021
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soft and offensive

You should know, it's just like you
soft and offensive, just like you.
by dattt boiiii June 6, 2017
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