Long Dong Silver could never get a real hard on, because his penis was so long.

I’m not going to try to get a better job so I can afford to start a family, I’m just lying flat.

Kiersten : Mmmmmmmm! Mmmmmmmm!
Chad : Mmmmmmmmm! Mmmmmmmm!
Kiersten : I do love kissing you Chad and it makes you get A Hard On would you like a blowjob?
Chad : Yes Please!
Chad : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Chad : You know this reminds me of the other day when me and Jim were kissing we got Hard On's and took turns sucking each other's dicks!
Kiersten : Reallly I just gave you an amazing blowjob and your going to talk about your gay experience with Jim.
Chad : I'm not gay I'm bicurious!
Kiersten : Well sounds like your gay to me!
Chad : I gotta go Jim want's me to take A shower with him!
Kiersten : GAY!
Chad: Bicurious!

the boy announces to the class that he has a hardon.

'When Bob saw Jenny by the pool in her bikini he got a big Hard-On'
'When my dog licks my balls i get a Hard-On'

Freshman year, after pulling an all-nighter, I stripped and got in bed, only to wake a half hour later with an urgent need to piss. I got up without waking enough to know I was naked, much less that I had wood, and walked down the hall to the bathroom. Only as I walked past the open door of another room down the hall and saw a woman grad student staring at me with wide eyes did I look down and see I was sporting the most giant hard-on I'd ever seen in my life. Afterwards, she kidded a male grad student we were both friends with that I had a better body than he did. He replied, "You've seen more of it than I have."

Do you want to go to Hardee's, Barfy's, Pizza Slut, or Taco Smell?