slow worm
1. Someone with both a tendency to be late and yet somehow either inconsequentially or fortuitously so.
They may tend to either get away with it or even dodge the bullet.
They tend to simultaneously be a late worm. The early bird gets the worm. The late worm misses the bird but not the mud, there is always mud. Thus, it is not only better to be early but also to be late.
A slow worm is always late and thus bird proof. A survivor, escaping fate on account of being slow, retarded, delayed, behind, late, etc.
2. Something that is not a worm nor a snake but a fake snake.
It is in fact a lizard that has had its legs ripped off to pass as a snake to hawk on the highly lucrative snake market. Snake is used abroad as a delicacy to make either snake cake which is believed to bestow immense sexual prowess or snake bake which exorcizes unholy spirits inhabiting the left ear canal.
Lizard is only used in traditional medicine to make lizard custard, a purgative of such incredible and excruciating potency that it is rarely desirable out side of a few niche markets such as the Japanese tub porn industry. Supply far exceeds demand and it is of little value.
Sometimes referred to as a trans-snake. Not to be confused with Phalloplasty.
They may tend to either get away with it or even dodge the bullet.
They tend to simultaneously be a late worm. The early bird gets the worm. The late worm misses the bird but not the mud, there is always mud. Thus, it is not only better to be early but also to be late.
A slow worm is always late and thus bird proof. A survivor, escaping fate on account of being slow, retarded, delayed, behind, late, etc.
2. Something that is not a worm nor a snake but a fake snake.
It is in fact a lizard that has had its legs ripped off to pass as a snake to hawk on the highly lucrative snake market. Snake is used abroad as a delicacy to make either snake cake which is believed to bestow immense sexual prowess or snake bake which exorcizes unholy spirits inhabiting the left ear canal.
Lizard is only used in traditional medicine to make lizard custard, a purgative of such incredible and excruciating potency that it is rarely desirable out side of a few niche markets such as the Japanese tub porn industry. Supply far exceeds demand and it is of little value.
Sometimes referred to as a trans-snake. Not to be confused with Phalloplasty.
Steve: Holy shit! Did you see the news?
Dave: No, what's up.
Steve: Jack's plane crashed, no one survived.
Dave: Did he die?
Steve: No, he was late, he missed his flight.
Dave: He was always a slow worm.
Steve: Did you see Jack's latest Donkey Porn?
Dave: Yes, it was gross. Looked like a chocolate geyser.
Steve: Looked like a whale blowing sewage out of its blowhole.
Dave: She should submit it to the Guinness Book of Records.
Steve: They probably won't accept it, they'll say they can't rule out doping.
Dave: What do you mean?
Steve: She probably downed a pint of slow worm before the shoot.
Dave: More like chute.
Dave: No, what's up.
Steve: Jack's plane crashed, no one survived.
Dave: Did he die?
Steve: No, he was late, he missed his flight.
Dave: He was always a slow worm.
Steve: Did you see Jack's latest Donkey Porn?
Dave: Yes, it was gross. Looked like a chocolate geyser.
Steve: Looked like a whale blowing sewage out of its blowhole.
Dave: She should submit it to the Guinness Book of Records.
Steve: They probably won't accept it, they'll say they can't rule out doping.
Dave: What do you mean?
Steve: She probably downed a pint of slow worm before the shoot.
Dave: More like chute.
slow worm by DeluxeFartJuiceLevelNine January 28, 2023
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