shmear

A large spreaded schlop of cream cheese usually schlepped all over a bagel.

Will you stop schlepping that doggone shmear on my toasty bagel.

by SHLOP July 29, 2005

shmear

In conversation, used in place of any word you cant quite remember at that time, such as stuff, or sh*t. Originated in the East Bay Area by The Doctor.

"Where is it located? Right over by the shmear."
"Hey Larry, Where did you get that new shmear?"

by Spencer Burton April 17, 2006

Shmear

White, spreadable goodness that is often used for anything.

"You've got some shmear on your shirt!"

"I'm gonna go home and shmear on some totapudi..."

"Hey! You shmeared all over my bed!"

by Totapudi October 20, 2008

Shmear

A super holy member even after resurrection.

Don’t be afraid he is just a Shmear.

by The Holy Shmear April 3, 2021

Shmear the Quere

A game played with a football were whoever is holding the ball gets tackled and so on until everyone is so blody and bruised that they're paralized for life.

Carter: Let's play Shmear the Quere!
Josh: This is going to hurt......but o.k.

by Carter C December 13, 2007

Shmear spit needle of discharge

Very similar to the blumpkin dip tower of doom, the Shmear spit tower of discharge has some minor changes:

Two women and one man in a port-o-potty,

One female sits on toilet and shits while the man eats her box,

The other female stands behind the man and quad finger bangs his poophole,

Both females then hack phlegm (the thick mucus secreted in the respiratory passages and discharged through the mouth) onto the male participants back.
While this fantastic orgy is occuring, both females hold one hand as high as they can to emulate the Space Needle.

When both females are done ejaculating, it is encouraged to leave the boy laying in the port-o-john and walk away.

Elaine: "Yo that sloppy boy is laying fetal in the grass! Let's go draw on him!!"
Leigh: "Fuck that there's a portopotty, let's Shmear spit needle of discharge the shit out of him"

Elaine: "You always come up with the best ideas, I'll meet you in there, gotta grab the finger lube."

by spitneedle August 19, 2012

Sheat Shmear

The fecal stained portion of the back part of a toilet seat, usually a trapezoidal imprint from the butt crack of an obese person. The physics of how feces travels up the crack is best left a mystery...

I went to use the rest room and was forced to try a stall on another floor to avoid cleaning the 'sheat shmear' from the toilet.

by Elisecruz May 1, 2010