Self gratification
The "polite" term for spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, beating your meat, polishing your pole, having a wank, ect. ect. You get it. It's how the news man would tell the audience you've been jerking off.
In local news, city councilman McAccerty was allegedly found engaging in self gratification behind the bus shelter with a toy giraffe and a roast chicken. We go live on the scene of his press conference now.
Self gratification by Dr_dude November 3, 2019
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