The thick chunk of fecal matter that inexplicably remains stuck to the inside of one's thigh after a bad bout of diarrhea. Typically necessitates a shower, or, at the least, a new pair of underwear.
"You guys fuck or what, bro?"
"Fucking hell, man. She wanted to eat my ass, so I went to the bathroom to clean up. I used three rolls of paper, and as soon as I stood up, I felt a huge chunk of schlep down there."
"Hahaha, fuck man. What did you do?'
"I told her I was gay and left."
A person who does a job they they are not qualified to do, although they pretend they are. They typically cause more damage than good.
When I had my stove fire, the real fireman must have been busy that day. The schleps they sent cut holes in the roof and flooded the place with water, ruining everything.
A person who does the opposite of what they should or is being a huge douche, to the annoyance of those around them. An insult that is usually made between friends or to label a person a group of friends do not like.