mum: *watching jamie oliver* oh,hes SO amazing
me:*mutters under breath* shes in LOVE.
mum: im not!!! i have chris.
me: *in thoughts* well i think hes a brstrd.and i hope mum isnt telepathic.
mum: what would you like 4 christmas?
me:* pretend idea* some cheese from sainsburys.
mum: *taking it literally* ok.
me:* in thoughts* id like to live with my boyfriend who has the BEST mum EVER!!!!!!
refers to the action of pulling your penis downwards, whilst pushing your scrotum forwards with your legs, so your balls get pushed either side of your cock. A succesful procedure should resemble the most disgusting chicken on the shelves in the super-market.
Anand: "Wait, I know a shortcut...take this left here...quick turn right again! Oh you were too slow, now we have to wait"
Cab driver: "What? You wanted me to take a left to miss to miss that traffic light and go through another traffic light?? What a silly man, what a stupid Sainsbury's manoeuvre!"