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portable douche kit 

one whose doucheness is so ingrained or inherent to his existence that it travels everywhere with him;

the very person who is so totally douched up
Mr Dude: Fuck, here comes Nelson. I can't stand that idiot.
Uncle Dude: Dude is a portable douche kit.
Mr Dude: Thats refreshing.

Potable Douche 

A very douchey person that gets sick whilst in Alabama
That's one heak of a Potable Douche
Potable Douche by LincolnLog69 July 23, 2014