An oft used nick-name given to one who regularly trolls web forums for attention by posting highly repetitive condescending political and social beliefs which are a contradiction(s) onto themselves. A Paratard is most often encountered within the internets emulation scene.
Paratard: "Just got my disability check and decided to blow it on bargain binvideo games instead of f'in around on the internets or watching Bill O'Rly on FAUX News as usual.... I have the rest of the month to do that! BTW this country is being ruined by liberal bums from California who are just sitting around watching TV while collecting unemployment checks."
Someone who insists that they are better because they knew of Paramore before Twilight, failing to realise it was already over played before there was talk about a Twilight Movie. They tend to whine and complain. Hate Decode (maybe ever Airplanes) and feel the need to make it clear that they hate Twilight. They're under the delusion that you can't be a "true" fan unless you knew of them before Twilight. Most only know of the band because Fuse used to play them every hour back when it was mostly music.
Cassie: Ugh, this chick was listening to Decode so I punched her in the face, like really. She ain't a true fan.
Lilly: Wow, I didn't know I was friends with a Paratard.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"