paper bag job

adj. used to describe (mainly) females whom posses good bodies yet have faces like a smacked arse... reffering to using a paper bag to cover their ugly faces during sex

Lad 1: Phwoar, look at that ass
(she turns around)
Lad 2: Damn she fell outta the ugly tree
Lads 1&2: Still give her one, paper bag job!

by englandsnumberonehockeygoalkeeper August 28, 2006

paper mache job

a term used to describe someone so ugly, too ugly even to be a paper bag job - their body is their only redeeming factor. to combat that ghastly predicament, the only suitable act is to create a paper mache mask of someone more attractive and stick it on her misshapen, scabby head so that you can make sweet fucklove.

Woman: You like me? Some guys think i'm ugly.

Man: Nah, your just a paper mache job.

Woman: Huh?

Man Nothing. (to bartender) Absinthe please.

by Raaaas May 12, 2008

Two paper bag job

A woman so ugly that two paper bags are needed during intimacy, one over her head and one over yours, in case hers falls off.

Mmm... two paper bag job, is she?

by Lonehelmet January 7, 2011

Sand Paper Hand Job

(n) the painfully sexual act performed on a male by a completely sadistic or manly lover most likely a softball player, resulting in emotional scarring, severe burns and skin loss.

That dirty trailer skunk that I picked up at the bowling ally gave me such a sand paper hand job that I bled through my jeans.

by Dr. Thunder Dix December 26, 2010

gaffa tape and paper bag job

a woman who has a really gorgeous body but who has a dodgy voice and a minging face so the only way you can bring yourself to fuck her is if you stick gaffa tape (duct tape) over her mouth and a paper bag on her head

scary spice

by jamfsob August 6, 2003

paper job

The sexual act of getting several paper cuts on the erect penis and then receive a blow job until it stops bleeding.

He received a paper job in the bathroom.

by I create more jobs than trump December 10, 2016