Mountain Pirate 

Mountain Pirate refers to a sub-culture of Southern Appalachia that uses the common historical reference to piracy as their motif. Most mountain pirates are former special forces operatives and operate on the French Broad, South Toe and the Nolichuky rivers. The mountain pirates are advanced wilderness medicine responders, SERE trained professionals and sell services as river/trail guides. Their specialties include advanced white water rafting, ocean sailing and swift water rescue.

The mountain pirates operate under a doctrine called the Appalachian Mountain Piracy, created by a yoga teacher who is related to one of the founders of the Iron Man. The doctrine is also referred to as 'The Code of the Appalachian Mountain Piracy'

Oddly enough, the moutain pirates are also hired by people such as cryptid hunters, paranormal investigators and ufo researchers wanting to explore sites deep in the Smokey Mountains (the Smokies). They also specialize in looking for missing people in the Smokies, Asheville and the surrounding national parks. The pirates provide both security, assistance and provisioning for such trips.

"Is that guy a river guide?"

"No, he is a mountain pirate"

Mountain Pirate by magicofappalachia January 17, 2023

mountain pirate 

A mountain pirate can be identified by three defining characteristics:

1) Disregards the wants and needs of others regardless of the severity of the situation. Will accept death before accepting situations involving the benefit of any being other than himself. The mountain pirate will not allow any of his resources to be used by anyone other than himself by any means.

2) Problems forming bonds with others as a result of their belief that others are after their stuff whether or not intent was shown. Basically your existence is reasonable cause for the mountain pirate to suspect that you are after their stuff. Communication with a mountain pirate should be avoided. Does not like sudden movements and typically breathes with mouth open.

3) Has stuff. The mountain pirate will always have stuff because that’s what they’re about. The mountain pirate builds a deep emotional bond with their stuff. This connection consumes every area of the mountain pirates life. Never uses a lint roller and generally has a worried expression on their face (this is because they are worried all the time. About their stuff)

“Your behavior is landing you dangerously close to earning the title of mountain pirate. Also obviously your mother is concerned.”

mountain pirate by Founderofflexandunmatchedskill June 29, 2020