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SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

Earth Snake Versus Water Monkey (Water Monkey (t)Ver(x)sus(o) Earth Snake) 

What I call homo-sapiens addicted to abscesses.
Person 1: Are yo addicted to abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Earth Snake Versus Water Monkey (Water Monkey (t)Ver(x)sus(o) Earth Snake)

Snake Money 

1). Obtaining money through illegal means (i.e. robberies, extortion, pimping or hustling).

2). Name of a Chicago based rapper signed to Ternt Up Ent.
1). "Yeah bruh, that whole house was bought through snake money".

2). "Hey, have you heard of Snake Money? He just did a show out in Seattle".
Snake Money by JO MILD February 18, 2013

shake that monkey

The act of a female shaking her pussy while dancing.
Damn nukka! That girl knows how to shake that monkey! I think Ima have to get hit that til its dry!
shake that monkey by Breezyyy December 9, 2008

shake that monkey

A rap song by too short...
Mayn i jus got a 5000 watt system and im fittin' to bleed da block wit dat song shake that monkey
shake that monkey by Sean! July 12, 2006

shake that monkey

Biffany and Volet are sad they about to go to sharkeez and SHAKE THAT MONKEY!!!!!
shake that monkey by sharkeey November 6, 2025
More from Urban Dictionary
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026

Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
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