matchturbate 

To masturbate to the profile picture of a person on match.com.

Yeah, I went on a date with that chick once. It didn't work out, but I still matchturbate to her profile pic after I come home drunk sometimes. But then I end up reading her profile and get sad when I read the part about her dog dying, and I can't finish.

matchturbate by ghuuuuuuu July 4, 2010

matchturbate 

subscribing to match.com for the sole purpose of masturbating to photos opposed to searching for a match.

Dude : I'm going home to matchturbate.

Matt : Have you found 'the one' on Match yet?
Mike: No, man...I just use that site to Matchturbate.

matchturbate by vegasbite September 29, 2013

Marchturbation 

When you don't get invited to parties during march break so you spend your week masturbating.

I got a lot of needed marchturbation this week, way better than any party I could've asked for.

Marchturbation by RacistUrbanWhiteGirl July 22, 2016

mathturbate 

Doing math homework or writing a math portfolio (especially for IB) that is so EXCITING that you feel sexually stimulated in the process and have an orgasm once you're done.

Alan: Sorry man, I can't go see "I Am Legend" with you guys tonight because of this stupid IB HL Math Portfolio on the Koch Snowflake that I have to write...

Barzeen: Don't even bullshit me, Alan, I know you're just gonna jack off all night anyway.

Alan: Well, you're kinda right. I'm gonna mathturbate.

mathturbate by aredotwice January 6, 2008

macturbate 

v. to pleasure oneself through use of an Apple product

Once Mike gets the new iPhone he's going to macturbate for a week straight.

macturbate by eponymousrhinocerous September 11, 2012

Matturbater 

A nickname for a chronic masturbator.
It is an amazing creature, known for its tendency to consistently lean to the right under the weight of its own right arm.

Is usually found in a basement, a library, hell anywhere where there is porn to access.

When not in its lair of porn, it is out wandering the mysterious environment known as `not watching porn`with extreme beadhead, greasy hair and a dark green hoodie with a broken zipper.

Also, it seems to blame the death of a computer on its siblings watching too much DBZ.

People chillin` , not knowing a matturbater is in the midst of their group: ``I`m going to fuckin pass out.``

Matturbater: (In its head) ``team america, FUCK YEAH. lol jk im gonna matturbate because there`s a computer with no password right here and not delete the history``

Matturbater by DeonGGG June 28, 2010

Mathturbation 

(n.) The act of deriving equations just for the sake of deriving them, at no apparent gain to the student.
In verb form, to mathturbate is to perform such menial mathematical labor.
mathturbatory: characterized by excessive mathturbation

"The professor spent three hours deriving the equation on the board because he thought it would help us understand the concept better; really, however, he just confused us with his senseless mathturbation."

"The homework problem required hours of mathturbation, with the end result being a simple identity that appears in the index of every text."

Mathturbation by D. S. A. September 22, 2007