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Masturbathing 

The act of a nice shower becoming a masturbation session
YOU - Dude, get out of the shower, you've been in there for over half an hour!!
ME - Sorry man, I was bathing but then I started masturbathing
Masturbathing by enroiv December 6, 2010

Masturbathing 

Jimmy takes such long showers because he is always masturbathing in there.
Masturbathing by Joewants69 January 30, 2012

masturbathing 

Brad: Hey, Tom whatcha doing? Tom: oh I was just masturbathing
Ohh

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.
i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating

I'm masturbating.
masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.
Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.