a lazy fat ass do-nothing internetblogger whose entire life is spent before a screen eating chips and KFC while attempting a last-gasp at a career in journalism read by no one; a play on "bump on a log" saying.
Ed sat like a lump on a blog for hours tweeting nonsense to the masses
"Getting your lump on" is a humorous euphemism for having sex. The term originated from a Facebook group called "Lumpy Horses," which is devoted to promoting a better understanding of these amazing, mysterious creatures.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.