loaf pincher 

Similar to turd cutter, loaf pincher is used to reference any type of ass worth mentioning, good or bad, preferably good. Occasionally abbreviated as just "LP".

"Damn Ben, did you see Nicole's loaf pincher in those jeans today? Sick!"

"Yo, my wife is in the next room, but check out the LP on that one!" - Kyle

loaf pincher by cmikes March 24, 2007

pinched a loaf 

Pinching a loaf refers to when one's sphincter clenches up mid-bowel movement, and cuts the egressing turd in half. The result is usually that one will have to wipe oneself raw in an effort to return one's rectum to a pristine un-befouled state of cleanliness.

Wife: Honey, what's taking you so long. We're going to be late.

Husband: I pinched a loaf, dear. Now I'll have to take another shower.

Wife: Oh, the humanity! I'll see if I can push back our reservations.

pinched a loaf by Hoopermazing September 8, 2006

Pinched the perfect loaf 

A crap that does not require wiping.

Dude, I just pinched the perfect loaf.

Pinched the perfect loaf by gyrussfanx May 23, 2007