john funk

a very self absorbed femboy twink, a knee slapper, a self proclaimed man , a comedian, a gigolo, his intro song is “i aint got nobody (just a gigolo) by louis prima”. money getting, hes a grinderrr oh oh oh ohhh he get money fr oh oh oh oh ohh, likes to slap tf out hoes if out of line, he spreads the love alll arounddd, the one and only big nasty, he likes to feather his mullet, does roids on a daily basis and ends up getting hemorrhoids from the strong strain, unleashes the most diabolical, unhinged, life taking, nose hair burning farts ever. also shits himself alot bc of the strain and pressure of the farts.
“yoo is that john funk?” “yeah bro i heard he got the gnarliest farts ever man”

*farts*

*burns nose hairs off*

“damm nigga chill out u pullin a john funk w those farts”

*looking in the mirror w self obsession*
“aye bro u ever gonna leave the mirror alone?”
“nah im the fairest of them all the mirror said so”
by jim bithell March 10, 2025
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