jesum

A New England slang word used instead of jesus, often used with crow.

Jesum crow that was wicked awesome. Jesum i'm hungry

by beguile studio March 30, 2007

Jesum

The term for when Jesus ejaculates.

Jesus was jerkin his man meat and jesumed all over himself.

by Killam97 January 19, 2019

Jesum

To urinate inside someone's anus, often like aiming at a dart board.

I took a chick home last night and finished the night with a jesum.

by Badshrooms May 25, 2015

Jesum Crow!

A bastardization of the exclamation "Jesus Christ!" but less vulgar.

Jesum Crow! I dropped one of my diamonds in the macaroni!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 25, 2008

jesum petes

Politely substituted for "Jesus Christ" in mixed company.

"Jesum Petes he slapped that bitch hard!"

by Jerome Todd April 19, 2018

lesbian jesus

A title given to singer/actress Hayley Kiyoko by her fans

The lesbian Jesus strikes again.

by Somebody’s February 13, 2018

Jesus Cheater

A publicly devout man or woman who uses their pious reputation to aid in cheating on their partners. Can be either using the excuse of church activities or "ministering" to folk as a cover for their trysts, or making ostentatious public displays of religious contrition to rehabilitate their image after being caught.

Sue: "Wow, Bob's really involved in the Church Choir."
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."

OR

Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."

Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"

by Mai Ainsel July 25, 2021