if a frog had wings

This phrase is used to denote the uselessness of the word "if" after the fact. The entire phrase is usually given as "if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped".

From the movie Wayne's World:
Cassandra: Yeah, and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped.
Wayne: Where exactly did you learn english?
Cassandra: College. And the Police Academy movies.

A modified form appears in the first season of the Drew Carey Show:

Drew: "hey, if a frog had wings... we'd still be screwed, but wouldn't it be cool?"

if a frog had wings by MPM68 March 31, 2007

Get merch

Get the if a frog had wings mug.

See more merch

if a frog had wings

That definition isn't right. The phrase "If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'" means that if a person didn't have to put up with a lot of shit or deal with a shitty situation, they wouldn't. If the frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'.

Jim: Hey Bob, how come every girl you have sex with is a real brown bagger?
Bob: If a frog had wings...

if a frog had wings by SKTom March 19, 2009

Get merch

Stinky Bobby

When you find a little guy who is stinky. Usually needs a belly rub.

Hey, that’s Stinky Bobby.

Stinky Bobby by anorlondo June 17, 2026

Word of the Day on July 29, 2026

Get merch

chud run

A trip to a grocery store, convenience store, or gas station for the sole purpose of buying an excessive amount of junk food and sugary drinks, usually with friends. A chud run often happens late at night and ends with everyone involved hating themselves afterwards.

"Hey bro you tryna go on a chud run with me??"

chud run by chad brandson July 24, 2026

Word of the Day on July 28, 2026

Get merch

flophouse

Any house/apartment/frat house/trailer/etc. which is used for individuals to crash (sleep, chill, hang out, lurk, etc.) for a period of time. In order to "crash", one must not actually live there (e.g. have their name on the lease, own said flophouse, etc.). Flophouses are typically used by college students, drug addicts, transients, vagrants, or other unsavory characters.

A flophouse may also be the home owned by the parents of a college student, who after being away at college, wishes to live as if he/she is still at college (e.g. staying out all night, returning just to crash at mom and dad's house, then leaving again), rather than conforming to the pre-college rules.

Example #1
Dude: (Talking to someone passed out face first on the floor of his college apartment) Hey man, who the hell are you? What do you think this is, a flophouse??

Bro: Sorry dude, I must have passed out for a minute.

Example #2
Mom: Where have you BEEN for the last three days? You come home just to sleep?? What do you think this is, a flophouse??!!

Son: What's your problem? I'm an adult now!

flophouse by J3553 November 21, 2007

Word of the Day on July 27, 2026

Get merch

Hate Sink

A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.

Jake's not really that big an asshole. He just serves as my hate sink.

Hate Sink by The great prophet Zarquon August 7, 2016

Word of the Day on July 26, 2026

Get merch

funiosity

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.

"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"

funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007

Word of the Day on July 25, 2026

Get merch