This word is a coalition of words, the first one being the 'tard' from the end of retard. The 'helm' comes from the word helmet which can mean a man or hermaphrodites bellend. Therefore by calling someone a helmtard you are calling them a retarded bellend.
When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.