heinz method
heinz method by Buck nasty Bastad October 13, 2016
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Heinz 57 Method
1. The scientific way to get ketchup out of an old style Heinz bottle
2. The preferred way to jerk-off or give a handy to an old man. Using Newton’s Law of Viscosity the handjob giver influences the fluid flow at a speed proportional to the force applied to it.
Both involve the following two-handed jig process:
Shake vigorously enough so that the solid particles unsettle. Next, turn upside down and thrust with both hands downwards at high speeds. This should help move the sauce into the neck, which is particularly important if your client is old and empty. Lastly, turn upright and karate-chop gently at the nape... careful as the sauce is guaranteed to flow!
2. The preferred way to jerk-off or give a handy to an old man. Using Newton’s Law of Viscosity the handjob giver influences the fluid flow at a speed proportional to the force applied to it.
Both involve the following two-handed jig process:
Shake vigorously enough so that the solid particles unsettle. Next, turn upside down and thrust with both hands downwards at high speeds. This should help move the sauce into the neck, which is particularly important if your client is old and empty. Lastly, turn upright and karate-chop gently at the nape... careful as the sauce is guaranteed to flow!
Handjobs were preferred by Robert Kraft, and to no one's surprise, his Masseuse used the Heinz 57 Method which had his sauce gushing out in seconds.
Heinz 57 Method by b_ats February 22, 2019
Related Words
heinz method • Heinz 57 Method • heinz • heinz 57 • Heinz 69 • Heinz Minecraft • Heinz Sight • Heinz 357 • Heinz Bauman • Heinz beans
Heinz 57 Method
1. The scientific way to get ketchup out of an old style Heinz bottle
2. The preferred way to jerk-off or give a handy to an old man. Using Newton’s Law of Viscosity the handjob giver influences the fluid flow at a speed proportional to the force applied to it.
Both involve the following two-handed process:
Shake vigorously enough so that the solid particles unsettle. Next, turn upside down and thrust with both hands downwards at high speeds. This should help move the sauce into the neck, which is particularly important if your client is old and empty. Lastly, turn upright and karate-chop gently at the nape... careful as the sauce is guaranteed to flow!
2. The preferred way to jerk-off or give a handy to an old man. Using Newton’s Law of Viscosity the handjob giver influences the fluid flow at a speed proportional to the force applied to it.
Both involve the following two-handed process:
Shake vigorously enough so that the solid particles unsettle. Next, turn upside down and thrust with both hands downwards at high speeds. This should help move the sauce into the neck, which is particularly important if your client is old and empty. Lastly, turn upright and karate-chop gently at the nape... careful as the sauce is guaranteed to flow!
Robert Kraft prefers handjobs and to no one's surprise, his Masseuse used the Heinz 57 Method, getting his sauce gushing out in seconds.
Heinz 57 Method by b_ats February 22, 2019
Hate Sink
A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.
Hate Sink by The great prophet Zarquon August 7, 2016
Word of the Day on July 26, 2026
Toe Rag
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026
Eternity leave
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026