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Worst deputy ever. Call him fetus a lot to make him mad
Festus:booty twerk

Person one:go away fetus
festus by Dirty harriettt January 14, 2014
penguin ass nigga. he ask a lot of questions. he also wears a lot of suits. double breasted ones.
I was with Festus and before we had sex, he asked me how cold I was today.
festus by drakespubichair February 21, 2020
Best man ever
Biggest dick in town he is Festus
Festus by Tim Burnout October 10, 2022
A dangerous man that wears black forces and steals peoples tires and takes your tvs
dam it i got my tv stolen. 'it must have been a festus'
festus by George1010101 November 14, 2019
Quivering pile of festering organic mass.
For three days, I mean for three days Master Shake ate off of Ole' Drippy, starting with his head. He was a living festus and Shake ate Ole' Drippy's head.
festus by Special Brownie_4 December 30, 2015

Uncle Festus 

A man that can usually be found trying to lure young children into his van with the use of tasty treats.
Child 1: "Hey look there's the ice cream truck!"

Child 2: "That's no ice cream truck, its just Uncle Festus making the daily child pickup"
Uncle Festus by Sosababy3hunna September 21, 2015
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