To touch oneself in a manner that produces a "fapping" sound often resulting in wasted kleenex and dick cheese. Due to lacking alternatives, it's popularity has constantly risen since women were given rights.
John: Hey Joe, seeing as you're a pathetic loser who can't seem to get a girl, would it be a stretch to say that you fapoffsturbate whilst self-inducing asphyxiation to help yourself fall asleep at night?
Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.
Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.
Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.
Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.
Someone or something that bites your ankles.
To a postman, an ankle biter is often known as a dog.
To an adult, an ankle biter may be a toddler.
To hikers, an ankle biter is sometimes a tick.
And so on.
When a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.
Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"