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Emergency Alert System 

The Emergency Alert System (EAS), is a system that was put in place in 1997 by the FCC. The system was very similar to the NOAA Weather Radio System. The EAS replaced the old Emergency Broadcast System (EBS). The system i vital to the safety US citizens. The system relays Tornado Warnings, Flash Flood Warnings, and any other National, State, and Local emergencies. The system uses S.A.M.E tones (the three loud beeps in the beginning of the alert). After the S.A.M.E tones, they play either a 980 Hz tone of 1050 Hz (NOAA Weather Radio) tone(s) or both. Following that, there is either a Human Voice or Robot Voice to relay the alert message. Finally, there are 3 EOM (End of Message) tones (Simaler to the first ones at the beginning, but shorter.
*Watching or listening to the radio*
*S.A.M.E Tones from Emergency Alert System play*
*980 Hz tone or 1050 Hz tone plays*
*Robot Voice of Human Voice plays*
*EOM Tones play*
Words you can keep

emergency alert system 

A scary civil defense broadcasting system. This system used to be called the emergency broadcast system (EBS), which used to be called CONELRAD. The "scary" part is the 3 beeps, which encode the alert, and the 8 second attention signal ( from EBS). Then, in either a robot or human voice, info is given. During the weekly tests, there is no voice. There is during monthly tests, though. The "robot voice" is on alerts from the National Weather Service, but on rare occasions, a human voice will be on weather alerts.
Coming up next on Cartoon Network- *Screen goes black for 5 seconds*
*3 beeps that sound like "duck farts"*
*Attention signal*
Announcer: This is a monthly test of the emergency alert system. If this were an actual emergency, the alert tone you just heard would be followed by instructions and information. This concludes this test of the emergency alert system.
*3 more "duck farts", only shorter than last time*

emergency alert system 

That fucking bullshit that wakes you the fuck up while having a good nights sleep. It fucking ruins your day and you never turn on the TV ever again.
Person wakes up: BITCH WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOISE
Fucking Emergency Alert System: BBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Emergency Alert System 

a public warning system revolving around the fucking scary ass set of 3 tones you hear followed by a completely robotic text to speech voice or an overhyped radio announcer that is usually completely unintelligible or distorted to the point where it sounds like static. also used for presidential addresses during national emergencies.
“that fucking emergency alert system message last night scared me”
yeah san diego has been getting tons of them recently”
“why”
“the fuck would i know i’m not the one issuing the alerts”

alberta emergency alert system

"Alberta emergency alert system"

A horrible alert system that you can't understand and doesn't appear until it's to late
TV. "BEEP! This is an alberta emergency alert. A... (Unrecognizable automated speech)"

Me: "I hope that was nothing important because I COULDNT HEAR A DAMN WORD! Stupid alberta emergency alert system!"
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Failure Shower 

When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.
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Word of the Day on September 8, 2026
Acronym for Non-Athletic Regular Person. Your schools lacrosse team probably shouts it at you while you walk by.
Lookie at these bunch of narps, NARP NARP NARP
NARP by Douchebag McKenzy March 31, 2010
Word of the Day on September 7, 2026
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