Desert Flower
Noun.
A term used by male deployed US Uniformed Military Service Members to describe the phenomenon of a female Uniformed Military Service Member's transformation into an attractive woman over the duration of a deployment. Such females are said to have "bloomed" or "blossomed" whilst in the deserts of Iraq, Afghanistan, other hell-holes that we're deployed to. Alas, for the Desert Flower must wilt; she must return to her unattractive state upon returning to US soil, for the Desert Flower can only bloom in the desert. (Or when more attractive Desert Flowers are in the vicinity of the desert, in this sense they are fraught with rivalry and are a delicate flower indeed .)
While the term applies to all branches of the US military, the Desert Flower is usually found further away from the nicer bases (i.e. away from the Camp Cupcakes) and as she is among fewer females and is accompanied by the men of the Infantries of the Marines and Army. The Desert Flower is typically enlisted and below that of the Staff-Noncommissioned officers (an E-5 and blow).
They are rarer in the Air Force due to the fact that women in the Air Force are already better looking than their sister counterparts in the Army and Marines and do not "wilt" upon return to decent civilization.
Those females unfortunate enough to stay unattractive over a deployment are referred to as the War Hogs, War Pigs, Thunder Cats or just Dude.
A term used by male deployed US Uniformed Military Service Members to describe the phenomenon of a female Uniformed Military Service Member's transformation into an attractive woman over the duration of a deployment. Such females are said to have "bloomed" or "blossomed" whilst in the deserts of Iraq, Afghanistan, other hell-holes that we're deployed to. Alas, for the Desert Flower must wilt; she must return to her unattractive state upon returning to US soil, for the Desert Flower can only bloom in the desert. (Or when more attractive Desert Flowers are in the vicinity of the desert, in this sense they are fraught with rivalry and are a delicate flower indeed .)
While the term applies to all branches of the US military, the Desert Flower is usually found further away from the nicer bases (i.e. away from the Camp Cupcakes) and as she is among fewer females and is accompanied by the men of the Infantries of the Marines and Army. The Desert Flower is typically enlisted and below that of the Staff-Noncommissioned officers (an E-5 and blow).
They are rarer in the Air Force due to the fact that women in the Air Force are already better looking than their sister counterparts in the Army and Marines and do not "wilt" upon return to decent civilization.
Those females unfortunate enough to stay unattractive over a deployment are referred to as the War Hogs, War Pigs, Thunder Cats or just Dude.
Marine PFC Schmuckatelli: "Oh shit! Sergeant! Did you see those hot chicks roll into the FOB last night? I nearly jizzed cause it's been so long since I've seen women! I hope to see them again at the chow hall!"
Marine Sgt. Motivator: "Be not fooled young Grasshopper, for they are Desert Flowers--unattractive girls who have only bloomed in the desert because there are no other chicks around and because we are all so horny for pussy!"
PFC Schmuckatelli: "How can that be? They are so beautiful! I must go to the shitter and rub one out."
Gunny Devil Dog: "Make sure that's all you do young Schmuckatelli! For they are all diseased of nasty shit that will make your little Devil Dog rot and fall off! They carry all STDs known to medical science!"
Schmuckatelli: "Aye aye Gunnery Sergeant!"
Marine Sgt. Motivator: "Be not fooled young Grasshopper, for they are Desert Flowers--unattractive girls who have only bloomed in the desert because there are no other chicks around and because we are all so horny for pussy!"
PFC Schmuckatelli: "How can that be? They are so beautiful! I must go to the shitter and rub one out."
Gunny Devil Dog: "Make sure that's all you do young Schmuckatelli! For they are all diseased of nasty shit that will make your little Devil Dog rot and fall off! They carry all STDs known to medical science!"
Schmuckatelli: "Aye aye Gunnery Sergeant!"
Desert Flower by Boat6float December 2, 2011
