couch porntato Share definition Flag Someone who spends most of their time laying on the couch masterbaiting to pornography. I tried to get John to come to game but he said no of course. He’s such a couch porntato!! couch porntato by Tcan73 October 9, 2018 0 0 Get merch Get the couch porntato mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch