A city located on the western side of the Hudson River in Albany County,
New York with a population of who gives a shit.
The most recent
United States census reports that
12.
3% of Cohoes is "African American". Upon complaints the census conducted a door-to-door campaign which resulted in an unrecorded change from the original
12.3% to 1.
4%. The census bureau workers reported seeing an overwhelming amount of new shoes, fubu and southpole clothing.
Cohoes is widely known for it's habitual tweakers (methamphetamine users), level 3 sex offenders, arsonists, flaming homosexuals, douchebag cops and it's
high eastern european population.
In the city's main park you
will find a monument dedicated to incest.
Some traditions in Cohoes are getting pregnant before the age of
18, smoking newports and drinking
40's of cheap beer (even while pregnant), pretending to be from Troy, Latham, Waterford, Maplewood or Colonie.
Cohoes is home to a single high school, where gangsters roll up on unsuspecting 'foos' and threaten to steal their fellow students EBT (foodstamps) cards. I say threaten because these gangsters are actually white posers (they pretend to be
italian or colored).
In the past decade scientists and physicians alike have become fascinated in an epidemic which has seemingly overtaken the small city. The virus is known as "staring". Rest assured, if you drive through Cohoes you
will be stared upon and maybe put into shock by their dirt smudged faces and yellow teeth.
All persons herein mentioned are from or are employed in Cohoes unless otherwise stated.
Person A: Look at the person from Cohoes!
Person B: How do you know they're from Cohoes?
Person A: See
definition above!
"It's a
sad,
sad thing that dental hygiene is non-existent in Cohoes..."
Person A: Hey man, you get the new Jordans?
Person B: Nah, my FICA check hasn'
t come yet...
Person A: Hey man, you got any doritos?
Person B: Nah, my foodstamps haven't come yet...
Person A: Hey man, you got some crystal?
Person B: Hells yes
