1. In neo-lithic times, there was no means of transportation for Neanderthal beings except their own two feet. Thus many of them did alot of running. When running their ussually hairy and oblong penises would chafe agianst their body, so they decided to make an animal skin contraption to hold their beef penis and testicles in place.
At the excavation site, Monty uncovered a 4 million year old Chro-MagnumBeef Harness
Not to be confused with actor Russell Crowe, this is a slang word for marijuana aka chronic. chronic shortened to chro, making a nice code word for phone calls.
dude 1- "Yo, who you chillin' with?"
dude 2- "Just me and Russell Chro, man"