car warts

Nonfunctional, external car accessories that appear to be performance modifications but actually diminish aerodynamics and add dead weight to the vehicle.

<poser> I've got fake dual exhaust with chrome tips, a dummy hood scoop, an artificial slant antenna and nonfunctional side vents. Anything else I can do to impress the women?

<tuner> Yeah, get rid of all those car warts and get a personality!

by Mark Shackelford July 30, 2007

Car Wars

Car Wars (2008), an amateur film written and shot in Oceanside, NY. The cast and crew have historically been referred to as "Team Oceanside," or, "Oceanside's Eleven." Originally meant to be a parody of Star Wars, the film evolved over five years of rewriting and editing to become a comedy of epic proportions. Some of the earliest scenes in Car Wars have been re-edited and now serve as flashbacks throughout the course of the movie.

Car Wars has been heavily criticized for mediocre acting, lack of character differentiation, and for bearing abslolutely no relationship to cars. Also, in one scene, you can clearly see Natan sleeping on a couch in the background. Car Wars also contains several hidden references to jokes and events that only its director would appreciate.

Despite the film's many flaws, the public widely regards Car Wars as a masterpiece worthy of at least one viewing. I'm watching it right now and laughing my ass off.

The Emperor: "Quiet! I sense something coming in the air."

Barry Knockwurst: "Oh, sorry. I had chinese for lunch."

-Car Wars

by Slim Jim, Episode II March 14, 2009