Canada's History is a depraved sexual act first performed around 1898 in the lawless Yukon territory by "Meaty" Georges Gagnon, a French-Canadian prospector during the Klondike Gold Rush. Georges performed the act on many willing and unwilling men, women, children, and domesticated animals (the rumors of this act being performed on moose and kodiak bears are unconfirmed). The act was called a "Dark mar on Canada's History" by local politicians, and "the only interesting thing in Canada's History" by American papers sensationalizing the Klondike Gold Rush.
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
Roommate 1: Geez, eh, you were loud last night with that girl. What were you doing in there, Canadas History?
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.
by kingkongNINJA February 06, 2010
A depraved sex act in which partners rip off their maple soaked denim underwear using moose antlers attached to their heads. The womans head is then sumbmerged in the stanley cup full of maple syrup while the man chokes her with his suspenders while plowing her in the rectum. Right before she passes out from lack of oxygen she wacks him in the balls repeatedly with a hockey stick to let him know "it is time" at which point he defficates in her mouth as she comes up for air. Finally they shove hockey pucks in each other anuses and continue intercourse as usual the act is only complete when the woman tranfers the man's maple soaked feces back to him orally.
All of this is done on under the watchful eye of The Beaver, however this act is rarely completed before the couple is eaten by a canadian bear
All of this is done on under the watchful eye of The Beaver, however this act is rarely completed before the couple is eaten by a canadian bear
by BigredXIII February 05, 2010
The act of a man or several men getting hammered drunk on yukon jack dressed as moose. The men then take large swigs of maple syrup and spit it in eachothers assholes. The men all clench their anuses, holding the syrup in, for twelve minutes, then splash it all into the Stanley Cup trophy....men without Stanley Cup trophies generally use commemorative Canada mugs sold to tourists. They then drink the syrup out of the cup. Then they fuck. In the butt.
"So me and Martin went over to Willies house and made some more Canadas History. Wicked sloppy."
"Gross bro."
"Gross bro."
by Jet Jaguar February 05, 2010
fucking a chick while using the stanley cup as a condom while shoving a moose antler up each of your asses and using a jug of maple syrup as lube
by FenrisWolfbrood February 05, 2010
When moose antlers, maple syrup and the stanley cup are inserted into a chosen body cavity after performing the dirty sanchez, a blumpkin and the angry pirate.
by stevenCfan February 05, 2010
Canadas History is a process whereby a large group of historical items is inserted into an orifice over a time period of at least 42 hours. It has been said that many of Canada's politicians and schoolchildren are in fact quite well versed in Canada's History but students of American history know that to not be the case. Some might even say that in Canada the real history buffs do it in the butt.
She wanted the wheelbarrow but I was all like, bitch if you aren't going to do the dishes we're going to get Canadas History up in here - And by up in here I mean up in you.
by History buffs February 05, 2010
The act of making love to one's own genitalia after having a sex change operation all while precariously balanced atop the Stanley cup and drinking maple syrup from a moose skull (antlers required). For some, the act is too tame. A common variation includes wearing a Mountie's outfit, mixing the syrup with beaver semen and continuously slapping one's partner with a hockey stick in an attempt to enhance the pleasure.
(guy1) "Bro, she looks hot but I heard she's a virgin."
(guy2) "Are you kidding? That whore has done Canadas History after chopping her own phallus off with an axe. I believe she is ready for my devious pleasuring."
"I told that asshole to go fuck himself but he went overboard and performed the old Canadas History."
(guy2) "Are you kidding? That whore has done Canadas History after chopping her own phallus off with an axe. I believe she is ready for my devious pleasuring."
"I told that asshole to go fuck himself but he went overboard and performed the old Canadas History."
by stephensbastardchild February 05, 2010